A guy went to a casino and lost all 10 000$. Swearing for the situation he goes to a taxi driver and asks: I have lost all my money, please give me a ride back home for free. Fuck off, no money, no ride. The next day the guys come to casino again and this time he successfully won all the money back and 10 000$ extra. Hi goes out of the casino happily and sees five taxis, and the last car is the one, which refused to give a ride for free yesterday. He goes to the first taxi and says: Will you take me home for 100$ Sure! But when you take me there you'll have to do the blow-job as well Fuck off, man.. The guys goes to all next three cars and the story repeats. Finally he goes to the last taxi driver, who refused to help a day ago, and says: Will you take me home for 100$? Sure! Deal, but you have to pass through those other four taxi drivers very, very slowly.
Two lepers playing poker, one threw his hand in, the other laughed his head off.
Q: How do you get a nun pregnant? A: Dress her up as an alter boy.
Whats the second thing thats hard in the morning? waking up!
Little Johnny: "Dad why your dick's hairs are black but the hairs of your head are are going to be white?" Dad: "My dear the first one is thinking but the second is enjoying."
What do you call a blonde with pig tails? A blowjob with handlebars.
One day there was a blind man walking down the street and he smelled oranges, so he bought some fruit. He smelled some pastries, so he bought some donuts. Then he walked passed a fish market, took a hard sniff, and said, "Hello ladies!"
What do you call an afghan virgin Mever bin laid on
Lady, how many sex partners have you had? Three.. oh no, wait... nine - I have forgotten one case.
Patient: "Doc, recently I've been very careless." Doc: "How? Give me an example." Patient: "Now I'm speaking with you, it seems that I'm talking to my dick."
My girlfriend said if this gets 100 votes we'll try anal. So please don't vote, her strap on is huge and it really scares me.