Joke #5931

This guy goes into a Sperm Bank with a gun and a ski mask and yells at the receptionist to open the safe. She's confused, thinking this is the world's dumbest criminal. "Sir, this is a sperm bank, we don't have money in here! That safe is full of donated sperm samples!" The robber screams for her to open it. At this point, she's confused. Maybe he's just a guy who thought better of becoming an anonymous donor and wants his sample back. She opens the safe like he commanded. The robber yells: "Now bring over that tray!" The woman does as he asks and brings the tray of sperm samples to the counter. As soon as the tray hits the counter, the menacing criminal makes further demands: "Now open that container and drink it!" The woman's gag reflex triggers. She barely manages to stammer out "that's disgusting! I won't do it!" Angered the man in the ski mask cocks the hammer on his pistol and repeats his command to drink one of the samples. The woman complies, he tells her to drink another, and another until the entire tray is gone. Once the last cup is finished the man pulls off his ski mask and goes: "See honey, it's not that fucking hard."
Vote: has 63.81 % from 45 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Yo mama so fat you cant tell if she got a penis or a vagina.
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, fat, vulgar, Yo mama
Mom: If a boy touches your boobs say "don't" and if he touches your pussy say "stop"? Girl: But mom, he touched both so I said "don’t stop"
Vote: has 85.60 % from 2375 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
A bloke asks his mate "do you ever talk to your wife during sex ?" His mate replies "yeah, if she calls."
Vote: has 66.38 % from 38 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
Two eggs boiling in a pan. One says, "I've got a huge crack." The other replies, "Stop teasing me, I'm not f*cking hard yet."
Vote: has 81.04 % from 278 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
I told my crush at school, "If you love me, come wearing red tomorrow." The next day she came in wearing black! When she dropped her pen and she bent over to pick it up, I got a look up her skirt at her red thong. Moral of the story: she really loves me underneath it all.
Vote: has 85.99 % from 915 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, love
Wanna know Victoria's Secret? She has a penis.
Vote: has 61.01 % from 77 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, dirty
The manager hired a new secretary. She was young, sweet and polite. One day while taking dictation, she noticed his fly was open. While leaving the room, she courteously said, “Oh, sir, did you know that your barracks door is open?” He did not understand her remark, but later on he happened to look down and saw that his zipper was open. He decided to have some fun with his new employee. Calling her in, he asked, “By the way, Miss Jones, when you saw my barracks door open this morning, did you also see a soldier standing at attention?” The secretary, who was quite witty, replied, “Why, no sir. all I saw was a little, disabled veteran, sitting on two duffel bags!”
Vote: has 86.07 % from 349 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
A Saudi prince recently requested that naked statues be covered up while visiting Rome. Apparently his 9 year old wife found them offensive.
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, dirty, religious, wife
At a government affair, the wives of four world leaders are chatting about how people refer to a penis in their countries. The wife of Tony Blair says in England people call it a gentleman, because it stands up when women are entering. The wife of Boris Yeltsin says in Russia you call it a patriot, because you never know if it will hit you on the front or on the back side. The wife of Chirac says in France you call it a curtain, because it goes down after the act. With great resignation, the wife of Clinton says in the USA you call it a rumor, because it goes from mouth to mouth…
Vote: has 84.87 % from 185 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, dirty, wife, women
As I stand here, and try to piss, I think of the gal that gave me this. If I see her, when I get well, I'll get it again. As sure as Hell.
Vote: has 48.79 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty