Yes, money cannot buy happiness, but it is much more comfortable to cry in a new BMW than on a bike.
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No!
You don't have "Bad luck".
You have low IQ and you make bad decisions.
Q: What do you call an Asian family tree?
A: A rice bush.
Two truck drivers trying to drive under a bridge.
Driver, "Oh no, the height of bridge is 2.7m and our truck is 3m."
2nd driver, "it's ok, just go, there is no cops around."
Patient: Doc I keep on forgetting things.
Doctor: Since when did you have these problems?
Patient: What problems?
Toilets are like mothers-in-law:
the farther away the better.
Vote:
I know when god becomes angry.
When teenage girls get pregnant and their parents exclaim, "Oh god! What have you done?!"
The man pulled over to the side of the road when he saw the police lights in his rear view mirror.
“How long have you been riding around without a tail light?” asked the officer.
“Oh, no!” screamed the man, jumping out of the car.
“Calm down, it isn’t that serious.” said the officer.
“Wait’ll my family finds out.”
“Where’s your family?”
“They’re in the trailer that was hitched to the car!”
Originally it was called 'Chuck Norris Mode' but he decided to let god have that one because Chuck Norris is humble like that.
Vote:
A blonde and her husband were driving home, when they hit a rabit.
They both got out of the car and stood over the poor creature.
The blonde and her husband just stood their, when she said "Oh I know."
So she when in the car and rumaged through her purse and came out with what looked a bottle.
She poured it on the rabit and they both got in the car.
Suddenly the rabit got up hopped a little bit and waved, hopped a little and waved, hopped to the top of the hill and waved.
Then dissapered over it.
The husband just stared at his wife and said "Honey, what did you pour on that rabit?"
His wife just said "Hair Restorer with a permanent wave."