Joke #2914

The United States Army will be making a new movie... They'll be shooting in Iraq!
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has 67.13 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: military

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There is a Navy guy and a Marine in the washroom. The Marine goes to leave without washing up. The sailor catches up with him later and says, "In the Navy, they teach us to wash our hands." The Marine replies, "In the Marines, they teach us not to pee on ours!"
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has 50.29 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: dirty, military, navy
Q: In the Navy, how do they separate the men from the boys? A: With a crowbar.
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has 54.13 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: military
There's an Air Force guy driving from McChord to Ft Lewis, and an Army guy driving from Ft Lewis to McChord. In the middle of the night with no other cars on the road they hit each other head on and both cars go flying off in different directions. The Air Force guy manages to climb out of his car and surveys the damage. He looks at his twisted car and says, "Man, I am really lucky to be alive!" Likewise the Army guy scrambles out of his car and looks at his wreckage. He too says to himself, "I can't believe I survived this wreck!" The Army guy walks over to the Air Force guy and says, "Hey man, I think this is a sign from God that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of archrivals" The Air Force guy thinks for a moment and says, "You know, you're absolutely right! We should be friends. Now I'm gonna see what else survived this wreck" So the Air Force guy pops open his trunk and finds a full, unopened bottle of Jack Daniels. He says to the Army guy, "I think this is another sign from God that we should toast to our new found understanding and friendship" The Army guy replies, "You're damn right!" and he grabs the bottle and starts sucking down Jack Daniels. After putting away nearly half the bottle the Army guy hands it back to the Air Force guy and says, "Your turn!" The Air Force guy twists the cap back on the bottle and says, "Nahh, I think I'll wait for the cops to come."
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has 84.67 % from 331 votes. More jokes about: air force, alcohol, cop, driving, military
One day some soldiers from a nearby Army camp saw a boy leading a donkey. They thought they would have some fun with him. "Say, boy," called out one of the soldiers. "You sure are keeping a tight rein on your brother, aren't you?" "Sure am," said the boy. "If I didn't he would probably join the Army."
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has 64.09 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: animal, military
Diplomacy is the art of saying, "Nice Doggy", until your sniper gets the range.
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has 81.36 % from 124 votes. More jokes about: military
At a Barrack, the commander calls the captain: "Take as many soldiers you need and start building additional toilets. The number of the people in need has increased!" "I would suggest, sir, instead of building more toilets, maybe we should hire a new cook!"
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has 80.77 % from 120 votes. More jokes about: military
What soldiers smell of salt and pepper? Seasoned troops!
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has 29.51 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: military
What do Gary Glitter and Napalm have in common? Both can strip the clothes off a small Vietnamese child in under two seconds.
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has 56.57 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: kids, military, racist
Chuck Norris can find Osama Bin Laden!
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has 31.68 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, military, war
Where did Saddam Hussein keep his CDs? In Iraq.
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has 21.90 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: military