Joke #294

At the Cedar Rapids Chamber of Commerce meeting the treasurer reported a deficit of two hundred dollars. One of the chamber members stood up and said, "I vote that we donate half of it to the Red Cross and then give the other fifty dollars to the Salvation Army.
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A lawyer was reading out the will of a rich man to the people mentioned in the will: "To you, my loving wife Rose, who stood by me in rough times, as well as good, I leave her the house and $2 million." The lawyer continued, "To my daughter Jessica, who looked after me in sickness and kept the business going, I leave her the yacht, the business and $1 million." The lawyer concluded, "And, to my cousin Cowboy, who hated me, argued with me, and thought that I would never mention him in my will. Well you are wrong. Hi Cowboy!"
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A man noticed that his credit card had been stolen but didn't report it. The thief was spending less then his wife.
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Patient to friend: "I saw the doctor to day about my loss of memory." Friend: "What did he do?" Patient: "He made me pay him in advance."
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Three boys were walking along the beach one day when they see a cave. The first boy goes in and is looking at a banknote on a big rock when a ghostly voice calls out '' I am the ghost of Auntie Abel and this five dollars stays on the table!'' The second boy goes in and is reaching for the money when the same thing happens again. The third boy goes in ,sees the five dollars and cries out,''I am the ghost of David Crockett and this five dollars goes in my pocket!''
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Yo mama is so stupid that when he got a new bicycle he gave it to the charity funds.
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How do you find the population of Mexico? roll a penny down the street How do you find the richest person in Mexico? SEE WHO GOT THE PENNY!
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I hate paying my income tax. You should be a good citizen - why don't you pay with a smile? I'd like to but they insist on money.
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Q: You know what lego set Trump played with as a kid? A: The wall maker set.
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Budgeting: When you work out that the money you owe is exactly the same as the money you spent.
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Yo' Mama is so skanky, when the waiter brought out her strip steak, she asked where to tuck the dollar bills.
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