Joke #3725

‘Money can’t buy you happiness, but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.’ Spike Milligan
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: money

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A woman took her dog to the vet. She said, "I think my dog is dead". The doctor laid the dog on the table and reached down and took a cat out of a box. The cat walked all over the dog and the dog didn't move. "Yes, your dog is dead," says the doctor. "How much do I owe you?" the lady asks. "$345," says the doctor. "$345!!?" the lady asks. "Yes. $45 for the office visit and $300 for the cat scan."
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has 75.20 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, doctor, dog, money
OK, who put a stop payment on my reality check?
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has 39.90 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: money
When does a female deer need money? When she doesnt have a buck.
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has 27.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, money
I'm like Domino's Pizza. If I don't come in 30 minutes, the next one is free.
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has 55.87 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: business, flirt, food, money, sex
Why would I buy a pumpkin at the store for $5 when I can drive 30 miles & pay to make my kids walk through a field to pick our own for $27.
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has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: driving, kids, money
I can't see the point of going to a lap-dancing club. If I wanted a woman who would take my money and sexually frustrate me, I would get married.
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has 82.55 % from 153 votes. More jokes about: marriage, mean, money, sex, women
I hate paying my income tax. You should be a good citizen - why don't you pay with a smile? I'd like to but they insist on money.
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has 35.28 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: money, tax
Man, to friend, ‘A thief has stolen my wife’s credit card. Last month he ran up a bill of over a thousand pounds.’ ‘That’s terrible,’ says the friend. ‘You should report this thief to the police.’ ‘I would,’ says the man. ‘But at the moment he’s spending less than my wife does.’
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has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: money
Yo mama so poor I sat on the garbage can and she said get off from my roof.
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has 68.63 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: money, Yo mama
Smile and the world audits your taxes.
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has 18.69 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: money