Joke #295

Fred: Thank you so much for lending me that money. I shall be everlastingly in your debt. Harry: That's what I'm afraid of!
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has 22.04 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: money

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A doctor had been attending a rich old man for some time, but it became apparent that the old chap had not long to live. Accordingly, the doctor advised his wealthy patient to put his affairs in order. "Oh yes, I've done that," said the old gentleman. "I've only got to make a will. And do you know what I'm going to do with all my money? I'm going to leave it to the doctor who saves my life."
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has 71.90 % from 97 votes. More jokes about: doctor, life, money
Most of our music store customers have a story about their old vinyl collection. Once, a man asked how much a record cost. My coworker quoted him the price, then added, "But there's a surcharge if we have to listen to how your mother made you throw out all your old vinyl records."
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has 71.25 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: customer service, family, mean, money, music
A young Alabama man goes to a drug store and says to the pharmact: "I got a hot date tonight, an’ I need me some petection. How much is a pack a’ them rubbers gonna cost me?" The pharmacist responds: "A three-pack of condoms is $4.99 with tax." "TACKS!" the shocked redneck says. "Gawd a’ mighty, don’t they stay on by themselves!"
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has 62.98 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: dating, drug, money, sex, tax
Your mama so old she still owes Jesus five bucks.
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has 54.15 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: age, christian, money, old people, Yo mama
Q: Why did hitter kill himself? A: Because he could not pay the gas bill.
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has 40.31 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: black humor, Hitler, money, morbid
Why does ET have such big eyes? He saw the phone bill.
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: money
Moody was awakened by the telephone at four A.M. It was his Ku Klux Klan buddy, Crumm, calling long distance from Montgomery. "What's the matter?" asked Moody. "Are you in trouble?" "No!" said Crumm. "What do you want, then?" "Nothing!" "Then how come you are calling me in the middle of the night?" asked Moody. "Cause!" said the other redneck, "the rates are cheaper!"
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: money, phone, redneck
No matter how hard we try, we never seem to save any money. Our neighbours are always buying something we can’t afford.
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: money
The first paper money press was invented when Chuck Norris drew a design under his boot and stepped on a tree.
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has 78.80 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, money
A man on a business trip to Las Vegas heard about how good the Las Vegas prostitutes were so on his first night there, he decided he would go out and try his luck. He walked outside his hotel and looked up and down the street and saw an attractive girl standing on the corner. He approached her and asked her if she is working tonight and sure enough she said "Meet me in room 804 across the street." He was in luck. She was a knockout. They got to the room and he sat down anxiously on the edge of the bed. She asked him what he wanted and he thought for a second, then said "How much for a hand job?" She said, "300". His eyes popped open and he asked "300?" She said, "Walk over to that window and open the curtains". He proceeded. "See that motel down there? I own it, and I didn't inherit it. I'm that good." He was like, "well go right ahead honey". So she proceeded to give him the best hand job he ever had. After a little rest he thought, if that was that good..."How much for a blow job?" She said "600". OH MY GOD! was his reply. She told him to walk back over to the window. "See that 15 story hotel? I own it and I didnt inherit it. I'm that good." He said "Well get to work then sweetie." And sure enough he got the best blow job he ever received. After a little "rebuilding" time he thought, if that was that good... "How much for sex?" She chuckled and said, "Honey, I'd own this whole damned town if only I had a pussy."
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has 82.84 % from 334 votes. More jokes about: business, gay, money, sex, work