Joke #2980

Q: What did the big turnip say to the little turnip A: When did you turn up?
Vote: has 25.82 % from 31 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: kids

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

It was graduation day and Mom was trying to take a picture of their son in a cap and gown, posed with his father. "Let’s try to make this look natural" she said. "Junior, put your arm around your dad’s shoulder." The father answered, "If you want it to look natural, why not have him put his hand in my pocket?"
Vote: has 61.63 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, graduation, kids
"Dad, your Father's Day gift is another year of not having to pay for my wedding."
Vote: has 76.89 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Fathers day, kids, money, wedding
Four-year-old to her two-year-old sister: "Let's play Christmas. I'll be Santa Claus and you can be a present and I'll give you away."
Vote: has 79.34 % from 46 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Christmas, game, kids, mean, Santa
Should women have children after 35? "No, 35 children are enough!"
Vote: has 65.26 % from 399 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, kids, women
Why would I buy a pumpkin at the store for $5 when I can drive 30 miles & pay to make my kids walk through a field to pick our own for $27.
Vote: has 55.34 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: driving, kids, money
A little boy asks his Mum "why am I black and you are white ?" "Don't even ask," she replies "when I think back to that party... you are lucky that you not bark !"
Vote: has 54.08 % from 122 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black people, dirty, kids, party, white people
Two starving cannibals, a father and son, were out trying to get something to eat. They walked deep into the jungle and waited by a path. Before long, along came a little old man. The son said, "Oh Dad, there’s one." "No," said the father. "There’s not enough meat on that one to even feed the dogs. We’ll just wait." A little while later, along came a really fat man. The son said, "Hey dad, he’s big enough." "No," the father said. "We’d all die of a heart attack from the fat in that one. We’ll just wait." About an hour later, there came this absolutely gorgeous woman. The son said, "Now there’s nothing wrong with that one Dad, let’s eat her." "No," said the father. "Were not going to eat her either." "Why not?" asked the son. "Because, we’re going to take her back alive, and eat your mother."
Vote: has 58.75 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: kids
After watching the grades of his child, the angry father said, "After seeing your grades, I feel like teaching a lesson or two and want to give a tight slap." The child excitedly says, "Yes dad, lets go, I know the addresses of all my teachers, we must teach them a lesson."
Vote: has 60.65 % from 47 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, kids
Friendly reminder that Adele and Taylor Swift are the same age, yet one is pregnant and another stuck in middle school.
Vote: has 58.75 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, celebrity, kids, life, music
A young teacher explains to her class of third graders that she is a born-again Christian. She asks the class if any of them are born-again Christians too. Not really knowing what it means to be born-again, but wanting to please and impress their teacher, many little hands suddenly shot up into the air. There's just one girl who doesn't raise her hand. So the teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. The girl says, "Because I'm not a Christian." The teacher asks, "So what are you then? " The girl replies, "I'm an atheist." The teacher's a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks the girl why she's an atheist. The girl says, "It's just that my family isn't religious. My Mom's atheist, and my Dad's atheist, so I'm atheist."rnrnThe teacher is now angry. " That's no reason." she says loudly. "What if your Mom was a moron, and your Dad was a moron. What would you be then?" "Then," says the girl, "I'd be a born-again Christian."
Vote: has 71.35 % from 91 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: atheist, Christmas, kids, religious, teacher