The other day a friend and myself decided to try out an aerobics video because we were both feeling very unfit. We put the tape in and started to copy the movements. After a few minutes we had chopped each other's arms off with chain-saws. It was only then that we realized that I had accidentally put "Psycho Killers III" in the video by mistake! How we laughed!!!!
How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? As many as it takes to climb on top of them in order to reach the socket.
What’s the difference between a dead baby and an onion. You don’t cry when you chop up a dead baby.
A hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his home. In the den was a stuffed lion. The visiting hunter asked, “When did you bag him?” The host said proudly, “That was three years ago, when I went hunting with my ex-wife.” “What’s he stuffed with,” asked the visiting hunter. “My ex-wife” replied the hunter.
A nun and a priest decide to take a day off, so they go golfing. The nun gets a hole-in-one, but the priest hits it into a sand trap. He's so angry, he shouts "God dammit, I missed!". The nun reminds him not to take the Lord's name in vain, and the priest apologizes and tries again. He hits it into the rough, and in his anger, shouts "God dammit, I MISSED!". The nun once again tells him not to take the Lord's name in vain, and he apologizes again. On his third shot, he hits it into the water and yells "GOD DAMMIT I MISSED!" and before the nun can say anything, a bolt of lightning strikes the nun, killing her instantly. Out of nowhere, a loud voice booms "God dammit, I missed".
Q: Whats the difference between a box full of dead babies and a cadillac? A: I don't have a cadillac in my garage.
What does the cannibal do just after he dumped his girlfriend? Wiped his ass.
What happened when a cannibal went on a self-catering holiday? He ate himself.
Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A: A pedophile.
Why are test tube babies the most beautiful ones? Because they're hand made.
How did the dentist become a brain surgeon? His hand slipped.