The other day a friend and myself decided to try out an aerobics video because we were both feeling very unfit. We put the tape in and started to copy the movements. After a few minutes we had chopped each other's arms off with chain-saws. It was only then that we realized that I had accidentally put "Psycho Killers III" in the video by mistake! How we laughed!!!!
Q: Why are jelly beans alot like the world? A: Because everyone hates the black ones.
My previous girlfriend had this weird sleeping disorder - in the middle of every night she would wake up and suck my dick. No wonder her dad did not want her to move out.
A magician comes to a seniors' home for entertainment afternoon: "Aaaaand? Is everybody heeere?" Seniors, enthusiastically, "Yeaaaah!" Magician, winking, "But not for looooong...!"
I wish I could see things from your point of view, unfortunately I can't stick my head that far up my ass.
Strong people don't put other people down. They lift them up and slam them to the ground for maximum impact.
How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth? With a blender. How do you get them out? Nachos - make a dipping and snacking motion.
"Mommy, mommy, I found daddy!" "How often do I have to tell you not to dig around in the garden!"
Woman patient: "Doctor I was suffering so much that I wanted to die." Doctor: "You did the right thing to call me."
What's the good part of there being no blacks on the Jetsons? It means the future will be great!
Q: Whats worse then finding half a worm in your apple? A: The Holocaust.