Why did Hitler committed a suicide? He received the bill from Gazprom.
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Similar jokes
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Question: What should a man do if his wife runs into the room during a baseball match and keeps disturbing you?
Answer: Shorten the chain.
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Q: What do you call the ashes of a white person in a jar?
A: A jar of mayonnaise.
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Q: Why doesn't Mexico have any teams competing in the Olympics?
A: Because all of the Mexicans that can run, swim, and jump have left the country.
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What is a cannibal's favorite food?
Baked Beings.
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How the children from Chernobil count from one to hundred?
On the fingers!
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Q. What do Ethiopians and Yoko Ono have in common?
A. They both live off dead Beatles.
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Did you hear about the Easter egg hunt for the Alzheimer's patients?
They hid their own eggs!
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Three buddies die in a car crash, they go to heaven to an orientation.
They are all asked, "When you’re in your casket and friends and family are mourning upon you, what would you like to hear them say about you?"
The first guy says, "I’d like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man."
The second guy says, "I’d like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher who made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow."
The last guy replies, "I’d like to hear them say…… look at him, he's moving!"
A new soldier was on sentry duty at the main gate.
His orders were clear.
No car was to enter unless it had a special sticker on the windshield.
A big Army car came up with a general seated in the back.
The sentry said, "Halt, who goes there?"
The chauffeur, a corporal, says, "General Wheeler."
"I'm sorry, I can't let you through. You've got to have a sticker on the windshield."
The general said, "Drive on!"
The sentry said, "Hold it! You really can't come through. I have orders to shoot if you try driving in without a sticker."
The general repeated, "I'm telling you, son, drive on!"
The sentry walked up to the rear window and said, "General, I'm new at this. Do I shoot you or the driver?"
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The only church which is disseminating light and warmth is the burning church.
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