Why did Hitler committed a suicide? He received the bill from Gazprom.
There are four people from different counties on the Empire State Building. One is Japanese, one is French, one is Mexican, and one is American. They all want to throw something off the building that they have a lot of in their country. The Japanese guy goes first. He throws off sushi. There is a lot of sushi in my country. Next is the French guy. He throws off a condom. There is too much love in my country. Next is the Mexican. He throws off a taco. There is too much taco in my country. Next goes the American. He looks around him and picks the Mexican up and throws him of the building and says: There are too much Mexicans in my country.
So an old man, a Catholic priest, and a pedophile walk into a bar, and that's just one person!
I wish I could see things from your point of view, unfortunately I can't stick my head that far up my ass.
One step forward, 12 floors down.
What's red and crawls up your leg? A homesick miscarriage.
How do you make a baby drink? Stick it in the blender.
Q: How do you make a dog go ‘miaow’? A: Freeze it in liquid nitrogen, and run it through a bandsaw…
The best thing after an intensive argument is the peace-sex. But I hate when I argue with my father-in-law.
How did the cannibal turn over a new leaf? He became a vegetarian.
Went to a Muslim birthday party the other day. It was great fun, we blew up a bouncy castle and then had a really intense game of pass the parcel.