Why did Hitler committed a suicide? He received the bill from Gazprom.
Some people just need a hug… Around the neck… with a rope.
I had a mate who was suicidal. He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a steam train. He was chuffed to bits.
Q: What do you call the ashes of a white person in a jar? A: A jar of mayonnaise.
Who's the most famous Jewish cook in history? Hitler.
Q: What's the last thing you usually hear before a redneck dies? A: Hey y'all... Watch this!
Doctor to Patient: "Don’t worry about your heart. It will function as long as you live."
Q: Why do old Jews have outhouses? A: Because their afraid of the showers.
Smith was hit by a car, died, and went to heaven. And everyone who goes to heaven has to work. God went up to Smith, and said: Smith, you are going to make babies. Here is this wheel, and every time you turn it, a baby will come out. For hours, Smith spun the wheel at full speed, then he started to get tired. As he was slowing down, a black baby came out...and Smith said: **** I better hurry because they are burning."
How the children from Chernobil count from one to hundred? On the fingers!