A blonde was trapped on an island and had to swim 1000 miles to get back to the mainland.
She swam 500 miles and got tired, so swam back to the island.
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Q: Why do blondes have see-through lunch box tops?
A: So they can tell if they are going to work or going home, while on the bus.
Q. Did you hear about the funny blonde who tried to blow up her husband's car?
A. She burned her lips on the tailpipe.
Q: Why do blondes always die before help arrives?
A: They always forget the "11" in "9-1-1".
A blonde in a bar is hunched over her martini spearing at the olive with a cocktail stick.
A dozen times the olive eludes her until a man sitting next to her grabs the stick and skewers it for her.
‘That’s the way to do it,’ he says.
‘Big deal,’ replies the blonde.
‘You’d never have got it unless I’d tired it out first.’
A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet.
“I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat the procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least five pounds.”
When the blonde returns, she’s lost nearly 20 pounds.
“Wow, that’s amazing!” the doctor says.
“Did you follow my instructions?”
The blonde nods…
“I’ll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day."
“From hunger, you mean?” said the doctor.
“No, from skipping,” replied the blonde.
A blonde says to her doctor, "Each time I try to sip my coffee, my eye hurts."
The doctor says, "Maybe you should take the stirrer out of the cup."
What did the blonde say when she knocked over the priceless Ming vase?
‘It’s okay, Daddy, I’m not hurt.’
blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun.
She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead.
Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so she is overcome with grief.
She takes the gun and puts it to her head.
The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it."
The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next."
Two blondes were talking together:
First: "How about your engaged Jim? Is he keeping well?"
Second: "He isn't just now my engaged."
First: Hi good news. His nose was too big and his head was bald with an ugly face!"
Second: "He is now my husband!"
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