Joke #3097

Q: What do you call a sleeping bull? A: A bulldoser.
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has 53.37 % from 106 votes. More jokes about: kids

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What did the mama bear say to her cub? "Don't go out in your bear feet!"
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has 49.95 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: kids
The devil visited a lawyer's office and made him an offer. "I can arrange some things for you," the devil said. "I'll increase your income five-fold. Your partners will love you; your clients will respect you; you'll have four months of vacation each year and live to be a hundred. All I require in return is that your wife's soul, your children's souls, and their children's souls rot in hell for eternity." The lawyer thought for a moment. "What's the catch?" he asked.
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has 74.83 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: kids, lawyer, money, wife
At a Whitehouse party for past presidents. Michelle Obama caught Barron Trump making faces at Sasha. Michelle walked over to reprimand the child and said, "Barron, when I was a little girl, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that." Baron looked up and replied, "Well, Ms. Obama, you can't say you weren't warned."
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has 50.00 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: kids, mean, political, ugly, women
Willow Smith is 11 and has a tongue ring, half her head shaved and is bisexual. She needs to go live with her Aunty and Uncle in Bel-Air.
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has 41.85 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: age, celebrity, kids, life
Teacher (on phone): "You say Michael has a cold and can't come to school today? To whom am I speaking?" Voice: "This is my father."
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has 78.23 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: dad, health, kids, teacher
Either the woman at the back of the train has two really ugly children, or two seriously cool Pokémons.
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has 64.34 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: kids, ugly, women
Eight-year-old Nina brought her report card home from school. Her marks were good…mostly A’s and a couple of B’s. However, her teacher had written across the bottom: "Nina is a smart little girl, but she has one fault. She talks too much in school. I have an idea I am going to try, which I think may break her of the habit." Nina’s dad signed her report card, putting a note on the back: "Please let me know if your idea works on Nina because I would like to try it out on her mother."
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has 73.68 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: kids, school, teacher
It's 1957 and Bobby goes to pick up his date, Peggy Sue. Peggy Sue's father answers the door and invites him in. He asks Bobby what they're planning to do on the date. Bobby politely responds that they'll probably just go to the malt shop or to a drive-in movie. Peggy Sue's father suggests, "Why don't you kids go out and screw? I hear all of the kids are doing it." Bobby is shocked. "Excuse me, sir?" "Oh yes, Peggy Sue really likes to screw. She'll screw all night if we let her." Peggy Sue comes downstairs and announces that she's ready to go. About 20 minutes later, a thoroughly disheveled Peggy Sue rushes back into the house, slams the door behind her, and screams at her father, "Dad! The Twist! It's called the Twist!"
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has 84.96 % from 1697 votes. More jokes about: dating, kids, marriage, sex, time
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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has 34.72 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: kids
Chuck Norris once gave a box of his old watches to a group of kids. These kids are now known as the power rangers.
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has 46.20 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, kids