Joke #3120

Q: What did the adding machine say to the cashier? A: You can count on me.
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A math teacher asks a pupil, what are 3, 5, 7 and 11? The pupil thinks for a moment and then replies, "On 3 there is cartoon network, on 5 we have cartoon network, on 7 dad checks out news-bulletin and the channel that comes by pressing 11 on the remote is FTV, which my brother watches late at night."
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One day a boy came home running while crying. His mother asked what happened why are you crying? The boy said`I got punished for something I did not do’. His mother said ‘That’s horrible. what did you not do’. The boy in tears said`my homework’
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What is the difference between a fridge and a kid? A fridge doesn't shout when you put your meat inside it.
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More jokes about: black humor, disgusting, kids
Little boy says to his father: "Daddy, I heard on the news that cigarettes have become much more expensive. Does it mean that you're going to smoke less from now on?" And father replies: "No, son. I will smoke as much as a have. But, you'll be eating less!"
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More jokes about: dad, food, kids, mean, money
Q: What do you call a sleeping bull? A: A bulldoser.
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Q: What is the best way to keep dogs out of the street? A: Put them in a barking lot.
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Man: "How old is your father?" Boy: "As old as me." Man: "How can that be?" Boy: "He became a father only when I was born."
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More jokes about: age, dad, kids
Handy hint: Feed your baby onions so you can find it in the dark.
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A little girl took her report card home and showed it to mom. The mother was very disappointed by all the very low grades. "Well look on the bright side" said the child, "you know for sure I don't cheat."
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Q: Why did the silly kid try to feed pennies to the cat? A: Because his mother told him to put money in the kitty.
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More jokes about: cat, kids, kitty, money