Joke #3121

In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft; today, in civilized society, it is called golf. Golf is an expensive way of playing marbles. Golf is a game in which the slowest people in the world are those in front of you, and the fastest are those behind. Golf: A five mile walk punctuated with disappointments. The secret of good golf is to hit the ball hard, straight and not too often. There's no game like golf: you go out with three friends, play eighteen holes, and return with three enemies. Golf was once a rich man's sport, but now it has millions of poor players. An amateur golfer is one who addresses the ball twice: once before swinging, and once again after swinging. Many a golfer prefers a golf cart to a caddy because the cart cannot count, criticize or laugh.
Vote:
has 40.95 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: sport

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

What do you call an elephant that lies across the middle of a tennis court? Annette!
Vote:
has 14.23 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: sport
How did the blonde die icefishing? She got run over by the zamboni!
Vote:
has 19.47 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: sport
Mrs. Williams: Ok kids let's play soccer SMACK! Anna:OW! Mrs. Williams: What happened Anna? Anna: Andy punched me! Mrs. Williams : Why did you punch Anna,Andy? Andy: You said let's play sock her, so I did.
Vote:
has 20.26 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: sport
Q. Why do golfers carry two pairs of trousers with them? A. Just in case they get a hole in one.
Vote:
has 40.95 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: sport
Q: Who is the most skillful goal keeper in the world? A: All women; they never allow any ball enters.
Vote:
has 82.78 % from 294 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sport, women
One morning, while she was making breakfast, the local fitness freak walked up to his wife, pinched her on the bum and said, "You know dear if you firmed this up we could get rid of your girdle." This was a bit over the limit, but she controlled herself and replied with silence. Next morning the man woke his wife with a pinch on the breast. "You know love if you firmed these up we could get rid of your bras." That was too far over the limit. She rolled over and grabbed him by the penis. Maintaining a vice grip, she whispered in his ear, "You know dear if you firmed this up we could get rid of the postman, the pool man, the gardener and your brother."
Vote:
has 67.69 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: fitness, health, sex, sport, wife
Q: How did the pirate become a boxing champion so fast? A: Nobody was ready to take on his right hook.
Vote:
has 71.52 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: pirate, sport
Why did the man keep doing the backstroke? He’d just had lunch and didn’t want to swim on a full stomach!
Vote:
has 28.45 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: sport
Q: What do the World Series and bears on birth control have in common? A: No Cubs
Vote:
has 24.26 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: sport
Golf was once a rich man’s sport, but now it has millions of poor players.
Vote:
has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: sport