Joke #3121

In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft; today, in civilized society, it is called golf. Golf is an expensive way of playing marbles. Golf is a game in which the slowest people in the world are those in front of you, and the fastest are those behind. Golf: A five mile walk punctuated with disappointments. The secret of good golf is to hit the ball hard, straight and not too often. There's no game like golf: you go out with three friends, play eighteen holes, and return with three enemies. Golf was once a rich man's sport, but now it has millions of poor players. An amateur golfer is one who addresses the ball twice: once before swinging, and once again after swinging. Many a golfer prefers a golf cart to a caddy because the cart cannot count, criticize or laugh.
Vote: has 40.95 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sport

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Chuck Norris won the Tour De France on a stationary bike.
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, sport
Two NBA basketball referees were walking through the countryside and they noticed some tracks. The first said, "Deer tracks?" "No," replied the second, "Bear tracks." The conversation ended abruptly when the train hit them.
Vote: has 64.52 % from 46 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sport
There was a tragic end to the water polo championships – all the horses drowned.
Vote: has 39.90 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sport
Sarah was reading a newspaper while her husband was engrossed in a magazine. Suddenly, she burst out laughing. "Listen to this," she said. "There's a classified ad here where a guy is offering to swap his wife for a season ticket to the stadium." "Hmmm," her husband said, not looking up from his magazine. Teasing him, Sarah said, "Would you swap me for a season ticket?" "Absolutely not," he said. "How sweet," Sarah said. "Tell me why not." "Season's more than half over", he said.
Vote: has 71.35 % from 119 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sport
Peter: Why was the Olympian not able to listen to music? Matthew: Why? Peter: Because he broke the record!
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: athlete, music, sport
Why are football stadiums always cool? "Because they're full of fans."
Vote: has 24.26 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: football, sport
After a particularly poor game of golf, a popular club member skipped the clubhouse and started to go home. As he was walking to the parking lot to get his car, a policeman stopped him and asked, "Did you tee off on the sixteenth hole about twenty minutes ago?" "Yes," the golfer responded. "Did you happen to hook your ball so that it went over the trees and off the course?" "Yes, I did. How did you know?" he asked. "Well," said the policeman very seriously, "Your ball flew out onto the highway and crashed through a driver's windshield. The car went out of control, crashing into five other cars and a fire truck. The fire truck couldn't make it to the fire, and the building burned down. So, what are you going to do about it?" The golfer thought it over carefully and responded... "I think I'll close my stance a little bit, tighten my grip and lower my right thumb."
Vote: has 24.26 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cop, game, golf, sport
Our new midfielder cost ten million. I call him our wonder player. How come? Every time he plays I wonder “why the fuck did I bothered to buy him”!
Vote: has 26.98 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sport
Dad shouts ..."STOP WATCHIN P*RN....I CAN HEAR IT IN MY ROOM!" Son: Dad...I am NOT watching p*rn... That is Maria Sharapova playing Tennis!
Vote: has 58.75 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, sport
What time does Andy Murray go to his bed? Ten-ish.
Vote: has 30.41 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sport