Zeke: Why were the swimming elephants thrown out of the Olympics?
Kyle: I haven't a clue.
Zeke: Because they couldn't keep their trunks up!
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Q: What do you get when you cross an alligator with a road runner?
A: A 100 mph nigger eater.
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A desperate man goes to the doctor because he can't get a hard-on.
He says " Doc I can't live without sex, I need the use of my equipment back!!
" The Doc says " There is an experimental procedure where the mucles
of a baby elephants' trunk are removed and implanted in your penis, this
gives you the full use of your penis."
Great I'll do it.
Some time after the procedure, the man is at dinner with his date.
He feels a rustle in his pants.
So he just ignored it.
It happens again.
So he figured it just needed some air.
So he unzips his pants to let it
out. The problem seemed to go away until his penis reached up onto the
table, grabbed a roll and disapeared back under the table.
His date stared
in complete awe and said " Can you do that again".
He said " Probally but I don't think I could fit another roll up my ass."
A woman went to the doctor's and complained of being really sore.
"Do you have any idea why?"
"Well, I had sex with an elephant!"
"You did?
But elephants are known to have small penises!"
"Yeah, but he fingered me first."
Four nuns were attending a baseball game.
Four men were sitting directly behind them.
Because their habits were partially blocking the view, the men decided to badger the nuns hoping that they’d get annoyed enough to move to another area.
In a very loud voice, the first guy said, "I think I’m going to move to Utah. There are only 100 nuns living there."
Then the second guy spoke up and said, "I want to go to Missouri, there are only 75 nuns living there."
The third guy said, "I want to go to Texas, there are only 50 nuns living there."
The fourth guy said, "I want to go to Maine. There are only 25 nuns living there."
The mother superior turned around, looked at the men, and in a very sweet and calm voice said, "Why don’t you go to hell, there aren’t any nuns there!"
Q: Why do they say elephants never forget?
A: They haven't met Alberto Gonzalez.
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An elephant goes to a camel and says why have you got a pair of tits on your back, the camel then replies that's a funny question coming from someone with a dick on their face.
Julia began her job in a secondary school as a counselor and she was keen to help the pupils.
One day during break-time she noticed a girl standing all by herself on one side of the playing field while the rest of the children were enjoying a game of soccer at the other end of the field.
Julia approached and asked if she was all right.
The girl said that she was.
Some time later, however, Julia noticed that the girl was in exactly the same spot, still by herself.
Going up to her again, she enquired, 'Would you like me to be your friend?'
The girl hesitated, then said, 'Alright,' while looking at Julia with some suspicion.
Feeling she was making progress, Julia then asked, 'Why are you standing here all alone?'
'Because,' the girl said with a large sigh, 'I'm the goalie!'
A boxer had written on his tombstone: "You can stop counting.
I'm not getting up."
Q: What does an elephant use as tampon?
A: A sheep.
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