Joke #11392

Zeke: Why were the swimming elephants thrown out of the Olympics? Kyle: I haven't a clue. Zeke: Because they couldn't keep their trunks up!

Q: Why do they say elephants never forget? A: They haven't met Alberto Gonzalez.

The man says, "Will you buy booze?" The bum says, "No." The man says, "Will you gamble it away?" The bum says, "No." So the man says, "Will you come home with me so my wife can see what happens to a man who doesn't drink or gamble?"

How do elephants hide in the jungle? Paint their balls red and pretend they are cherries! What's the loudest noise in the jungle? Monkeys eating cherries...

What do you call an elephant that lies across the middle of a tennis court? Annette!

There once was a baby elephant and a baby turtle drinking from a river deep in the jungle. For no reason, the turtle reaches over and bites the elephant's tail, really hard. Years and years later, the same elephant, now grown up, is by the same river, having a drink with his giraffe buddy, when the same turtle that bit him on the tail all those years ago wanders up to the river. The elephant rears back a leg and kicks the turtle as hard as he can, sending him flying way off into the jungle. "Why did you do that?" the giraffe asks. "When we both were babies, that turtle bit my tail for no reason," the elephant replied. "Wow! You must have a good memory!" exclaimed the giraffe. "Yep!" said the elephant. "I've got Turtle-Recall."

A man walks into a bar with a dog. The bartender says, "You can't bring that dog in here." "You don't understand," says the man. "This is no regular dog, he can talk." "Listen, pal," says the bartender. "If that dog can talk, I'll give you a hundred bucks. "The man puts the dog on a stool, and asks him, "What's on top of a house?" "Roof!" "Right. And what's on the outside of a tree?" "Bark!" "And who's the greatest baseball player of all time?" "Ruth!" "I guess you've heard enough," says the man. "I'll take the hundred in twenties." The bartender is furious. "Listen, pal," he says, "get out of here before I belt you." As soon as they're on the street, the dog turns to the man and says, "Do you think I should have said 'DiMaggio'?"

Q: What has 18 legs and catches flies? A: A baseball team.

Q: What is a sheep's favorite sport? A: Baaasket baaall!

Chuck Norris once went sky diving, he did not use a parachute. The spot he landed on is now known as the Grand Canyon.

An elephant goes to a camel and says why have you got a pair of tits on your back, the camel then replies that's a funny question coming from someone with a dick on their face.