How are vending machines and black men similar?
They don't work but they take your money.
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Q: Why are there only two paulbears at a black guys funeral?
A: There are only two handles on a garbage can.
Chuck Norris can't be racist, because to him there are no people, just light and dark targets.
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How do you blindfold an Asian?
With dental floss!
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How do you remove one thousand flies in one motion?
Slap a Kenyan in the face.
Why do Mexicans cross the border in pairs?
Because it says "No Tres-Passing"
My uncle was a racist piano player, all his work sounded awful because he skipped all the black keys.
If you give three liberals a light bulb what would happen?
The first one would say its causing global warming.
The second one would say its racist.
The third one would say its not a light bulb unless Obama says let there be light.
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What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
Polaroid's.
A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is an American.
She asks her students to raise their hands if they were American too.
Not really knowing why but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like flashy fireworks.
There is, however, one exception. A girl named Kristen has not gone along with the crowd.
The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.
"Because I am not an American."
"Then", asks the teacher, "What are you?"
"I'm a proud Canadian," boasts the little girl.
The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Kristen why she is a Canadian.
"Well, my mom and dad are Canadians, so I'm a Canadian too."
The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?"
A pause, and a smile. "Then," says Kristen, "I'd be an American."