Why did the mobster put his money in the freezer?
He liked cold hard cash!
Similar jokes
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A worker goes to his boss and says, ‘You have to give me a raise.
There are three other companies after me.’
‘Is that so?’ says the manager.
‘And what companies are those?’
The worker replies, ‘The electric company, the telephone company, and the gas company.’
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Cash.
Cash who?
Yes! I've always known you were a bit nutty!
Vote:
A blonde and her boyfriend are going through they're daily routine in the bathroom when there's a knock at the door.
The boyfriend who is in the shower tells the blonde to go answer the door.
The blonde puts on a towel and goes to the door.
A man is standing there, and says "Hey hun, do me a favor."
"What?" askes the blonde.
"Drop the towel and I'll give you $500!." replied the man.
The blonde drops her towel and jiggles her tits for the man at the door.
"Thanks, a ton hun, i'll catch you later" says the man and he hands her the $500.
The blonde walks back smilling to her boyfriend who had just got out of the shower.
As he steps out, he says "Hey hun?
I just thought I'd let you know John will be stopping by to pay me back that $500 he owes me!"
Discussion between two future lawyers:
I don’t understand why they rejected me!
I told them that I want to be a lawyer because I respect the law, that I’d give my life for the Constitution and that I want justice for my clients.
What did you tell them?
I told them that I want to be a lawyer because of my hands!
You’re hands?
What do you mean?
Well, I looked in my hands and there were no money...
Patient: "Doctor, I am feeling much better now. Please give me your bill."
Doctor: "Be calm. You are not strong enough for this yet."
What’s six inches long, two inches wide and drives women wild?
A fifty-dollar bill.
A woman took her dog to the vet. She said, "I think my dog is dead". The doctor laid the dog on the table and reached down and took a cat out of a box. The cat walked all over the dog and the dog didn't move. "Yes, your dog is dead," says the doctor.
"How much do I owe you?" the lady asks.
"$345," says the doctor.
"$345!!?" the lady asks.
"Yes. $45 for the office visit and $300 for the cat scan."
So Little Johnny's teacher is warned at the beginning of the school year not to ever make a bet with Johnny unless she is absolutely sure she will win it.
One day in class, Johnny raises his hand and says "teacher, I'll bet you $50 I can guess what color your underwear is."
She replies, "okay, meet me after class and we'll settle it." But beforeclass ends, she goes to the restroom and removes her panties.
After class is over and the studentsclear out, Johnny makes his guess.
"Blue."
"Nope. You got it wrong," she says as she lifts her skirt to reveal she isn't wearing any underwear.
"Well come with me out to my dads car, he's waiting for me, and I'll get you the money." She follows him out.
When they get to the car she informs his dad that he got the bet wrong and that she showed Johnny that she wasn't wearing any underwear.
His dad exclaims: "That mother fucker! He bet me $100 this morning that he'd see your pussy before the end of the day!"
Vote:
A prominent lawyer calls a plumber to fix a leak in his shower.
After about 25 minutes the plumber hands him a bill for $200.00.
The lawyer, enraged, says:
“I’m a famous trial lawyer, and even I don’t make that kind of money for 25 minutes work!”
“Neither did I when I was a lawyer”, says the plumber.