Why did the mobster put his money in the freezer?
He liked cold hard cash!
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Money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.
The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
Q: What kind of money do elves use?
A: Jingle bills!
If you had a million dollars and gave away one quarter, and another quarter, and then another quarter, how much would you have left?
A million dollars minus 75 cents.
Don’t spend money having your shirts laundered.
Donate them to a charity shop, then when they’ve cleaned them, buy them back.
Fred: Thank you so much for lending me that money.
I shall be everlastingly in your debt.
Harry: That's what I'm afraid of!
A man and his wife went to the pharmacy to pick up his prescription for Viagra.
Seeing the $10 per pill price his wife was astonished - but then realized "it's only going to cost us $30 per year."
Father's Day always worried James.
He was afraid that he will get a gift he can't afford.
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Q: What is a Democratic Free Market?
A: One that hands out slices of cheese.
A lady went into a bar in Austin and saw a cowboy with his feet propped up on a table.
He had the biggest feet she'd ever seen.
The woman asked the cowboy if it's true what they say about men with big feet.
The cowboy grinned and said, "Shore is, little lady!
Why don't you come on out to the bunk house and let me prove it to you?"
The woman wanted to find out for herself, so she spent the night with him. The next morning she handed him a $100 bill.
Blushing, he said, "Well, thank ya Ma'am.
I'm real flattered.
Ain't nobody ever paid me fer mah services before."
"The woman replied, "Don't be flattered ...take the money and buy yourself some boots that fit."
Q: What do the Jews hate most about the Holocaust?
A: The cost.
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