Joke #3197

“Honey,” said this husband to his wife, “I invited a friend home for supper.” “What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven’t been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don’t feel like cooking a fancy meal!” “I know all that.” “Then why did you invite a friend for supper?” “Because the poor fool’s thinking about getting married.”
Vote:
has 39.50 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: women

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Chuck Norris can make love to a girl so hard and fast it inspired a reality tv series. We know it as Forged in the fire.
Vote:
has 30.36 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, sex, women
Coco Chanel once said that you should put perfume on places where you want to be kissed by a man. But hell does that burn!
Vote:
has 77.50 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: dirty, men, women
How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
Vote:
has 41.91 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: women
Why do women close their eyes during sex? They can't stand to see a man have a good time.
Vote:
has 82.20 % from 163 votes. More jokes about: women
I'm like happy meal. "Coz you are small and pretty?" "No, coz I always c*m with a toy inside.
Vote:
has 66.60 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: food, sex, women
A woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, “You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know what?” “What dear?” she asked gently, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth. ”I think you’re bad luck.”
Vote:
has 37.61 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: women
What's worse than a male chauvinistic pig? A women who won't do what she's told.
Vote:
has 41.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: women
Girls are like an internet virus: they enter your life, scan your pockets, transfer money, edit your mind, download their problems and delete your smile...
Vote:
has 71.93 % from 205 votes. More jokes about: internet, money, women
A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?" "Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. "How do you know that?" "Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer"
Vote:
has 54.58 % from 204 votes. More jokes about: marriage, math, men, wedding, women
An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. "You don't want to try these techniques at home." "Why not?" asked somebody from the audience. "I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years," the expert explained. "She made lots of trips between the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying a single item at a time. One day I told her, 'Hon, why don't you try carrying several things at once?'" "Did it save time?" the person in the audience asked. "Actually, yes," replied the expert. "It used to take her 20 minutes to make breakfast. Now I do it in seven."
Vote:
has 59.09 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: time, wife, women