Joke #7357

Q:Why did the woman cross the road? A I don't know, the real question is, why was she out of the kitchen?

Boy calls 911. Boy: Hello? I need your help! 911: Alright, What is it? Boy: Two girls are fighting over me! 911: So what's your emergency? Boy: The ugly one is winning.

What is the difference between girls aged:8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58 and 68? At 8 – You take her to bed and tell her a story. At 18 – You tell her a story and take her to bed. At 28 – You don’t need to tell her a story to take her to bed. At 38 – She tells you a story and takes you to bed. At 48 – You tell her a story to avoid going to bed. At 58 – You stay in bed to avoid her story. At 68 – If you take her to bed, that’ll be a story!

One attractive young businesswoman to another over lunch: "My life is all math. I am trying to add to my income, subtract from my weight, divide my time, and avoid multiplying."

Q: How do you be pro in clash royale? A: Use rocket and rage spell ladies.

What do you give Mikey for his 18th birthday? A 90 year old woman, because Mikey will eat anything.

Why do men want to vote for a female President? Because we'd only have to pay her half as much.

These two guys had just gotten divorces and they swore they would never have anything to do with women again. They were best friends and they decided to move up to Alaska as far north as they could go and never look at a woman again. They got up there and went into a trader’s store and told him, "Give us enough supplies to last two men for one year." The trader got the gear together and on top of each one’s supplies he laid a board with a hole in it with fur around the hole. The guys said "What’s that board for?" The trader said, "Well, where you’re going there are no women and you might need this." They said "No way! We’ve sworn off women for life!" The trader said, "Well. take the boards with you, and if you don’t use them. I’ll refund your money next year." "Okay," they said and left. Next year this guy came into the trader’s store and said "Give me enough supplies to last one man for one year." The trader said, "Weren’t you in here last year with a partner?" "Yeah" said the guy. "Where is he?" asked the trader. "I shot him" said the guy. "Why?" "I caught him in bed with my board."

Have you heard about the new super-sensitive condoms? They hang around after the man leaves and talks to the woman.

Question: How do you call a woman who always knows where her husband is? Answer: A widow.

Why was the name "P.M.S." chosen ? Because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken...