One evening, Little Johnny, his brother Little Jimmy, and their father, Big Jimmy John, sat down to eat supper. Big Jimmy John turned to Little Jimmy and asked, "Little Jimmy, what would you like to eat first?"
To this Little Jimmy replied, "I want some of them fuckin' peas."
In a flash, Big Jimmy John slapped the shit out Little Jimmy.
"Now what did you want to eat first Jimmy?" asked his father.
I want some of them fuckin' peas," said Jimmy.
Big Jimmy John then back handed Little Jimmy clean out of his chair and half way across the room.
Little Jimmy shook it off and promptly returned to the table where his father once again asked, "Little Jimmy, now what would you like to eat?"
Once again Little Jimmy responded, "I want some of them fuckin' peas!"
Furiously, Big Jimmy John snapped, savagely beatting Little Jimmy, leaving him bleeding and unconcious on the kitchen floor.
Returning to the table, short of breathe, and trying to regain his composure, Big Jimmy John turned to his other son Little Johnny and calmly asked,"Well Little Johnny, just what would you like to eat first?"
Little Johnny, glancing at his brother on the floor, turned back to his father and quickely exclaimed, "Well you can bet your sweet ass, it ain't none of them Fuckin' Peas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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Little Johnny was sitting in his classroom when his teacher asks what sounds animals make.
First the teacher asks,"what sound does a cow make?"
Susie raises her hand and says moo.
"Good job susie" says the teacher.
Then she asks what sound does a duck make?
Billy raises his hand and says quack.
Next the teacher asks what sound a pig makes.
Little Johnny raises his hand and says," Get your black ass out the car, put your hands above your head, and spread your legs!"
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Johnny Walks in his parents room finding his dad with his dick in his mom's pussy.
Johnny asks his dad " Can realatives Have babies if they fuck?"
"Of course not johnny" his dad replied.
the very next day johnny was his room stuffing his dick in his 14 year old's pussy and humping her. "ohhhhh Johnny!
Fuck Me Harder!" his sister yelled.
I am! johnny said.
then his sister gave johnny a blowjob to make his dick bigger.
"Now I Can Fuck Better!" said Little Johnny.
Then Johnny Fucked His Sister How He Saw His Dad Doing To His Mom.
Then his parents came into his room and his mom saw his huge cock and said "Johnny That Sure Is Big! "Well Your Next Mom!" Johnny replied
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Little Johnny was crying one day, and his dad asked him why.
'I've lost five cents,' sobbed Johnny.
'Don't worry,' said his dad kindly.'
Here's five more for you,' At this Johnny howled louder than ever.
'Now what is it ?' asked his dad.
'I wish I'd said I'd lost ten cents!'
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Teacher: "Four crows are on the fence.
The farmer shoots one. How many are left?"
Little Johnny: "None."
Teacher: "Listen carefully: Four crows are on the fence.
The farmer shoots one.
How many are left?"
Little Johnny: "None."
Teacher: "Can you explain that answer?"
Little Johnny: "One is shot, the others fly away.
There are none left."
Teacher: "Well, that isn't the correct answer, but I like the way you think."
Little Johnny: "Teacher, can I ask a question?"
Teacher: "Sure."
Little Johnny: "There are three women in the ice cream parlor.
One is licking, one is biting and one is sucking her ice cream cone.
Which one is married?"
Teacher: "The one sucking the cone."
Little Johnny: "No.
The one with the wedding ring on, but I like the way you think."
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Little Johnny's teacher asks, "What is the chemical formula for water?"
Little Johnny replies, "HIJKLMNO"!
The teacher, puzzled, asks, "What on Earth are you talking about?"
Little Johnny replies, "Yesterday you said it was H to O!"
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Little Johnny goes to his sister's room and picks up something.
His sister tells him to give it back, she wants to keep it as a souvenir.
He asks her what it is.
She says, "it's a donut."
Then Little Johnny says, "give me fifty cents."
Johnny gives her the used condom, and his sister gives him 50 cents.
He goes to the kitchen with a big smile on his face, and his mom asks him why he's smiling.
He says, "My sister gave me fifty cents for a donut, but I already licked out all the custard!
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A teacher asks her class, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Little Johnny says "I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day".
The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson.
"And you, Susie? " the teacher asks.
Susie says "I wanna be Johnny's bitch."
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A teacher was working with a group of children, trying to broaden their horizons through sensory perception.
She brought in a variety of lifesavers and said, "Children, I'd like you to close your eyes and taste these."
The kids easily identified the taste of cherries, lemons and mint, but when the teacher gave them honey-flavored lifesavers, all of the kids were stumped.
I'll give you a hint," said the teacher.
"It's something your mommy probably calls your daddy all the time."
Instantly, Little Johnny coughed his onto the floor and shouted, "Quick!
Spit'em out!
They're assholes!"
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Little Johnny returns from school and says:
"Mam, in school we write dirty swear-words so often!"
"But I hope you are not writing them, my son."
"No, I'm dictating them!"
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I saw the priest watching pornography.
Should I get jelous?
-Johnny, 11 years old.
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