Joke #4711

He: So then, what's your sign? She: Dollar.

Sex is when a guys communication, enters a girls information, to increase the population, for a younger generation, do you get the information... or do you need a demonstration.

Q: Why do women wear makeup and perfume? A: Because they're ugly and they stink.

A Pontiac takes examinations for the driver’s licence for the fourth year in a row. The examiner asks him "So, you’re running on the street. You have a mountain on your right and there’s a cliff on your left. There are two women in your way; the one young and the other an old woman. Which one are you going to hit?" "Of course the old woman!" The examinet frustrated "I told you last year! You hit the brakes!"

How many divorced Women does it take to screw in a light bulb? 4,1 to screw in the bulb, 3 to form a support group.

A guy dials his home phone number from work. A strange woman answers. The guy says, "Who is this?" "This is the maid," answered the woman. "We don’t have a maid!" "I was just hired this morning by the lady of the house." "Well, this is her husband. Is she there?" "Ummm…she’s upstairs in the bedroom with someone who I just figured was her husband." The guy is fuming. He says to the maid, "Listen, would you like to make $50,000?" "What do I have to do?" "I want you to get my gun from my desk in the den and shoot that witch and the jerk she’s with." The maid puts down the phone. The guy hears footsteps, followed by a couple of gunshots. The maid comes back to the phone. "What should I do with the bodies?" "Throw them in the swimming pool!" "What pool?”" "Uh.. is this 832-4173?"

I've spent the past two years looking for my ex-girlfriend's killer... but no one will do it.

How can you tell a sumo wrestler from a feminist? A Sumo wrestler shaves his legs.

I told my friend that she drew her eyebrows on too high. She looked surprised.

Q: Why is a woman's pussy like a warm toilet seat? A: They both feel good, but you wonder who was there before you.

Chuck Norris sleeps with every woman on the planet once a month... and they bleed for a week.