He: So then, what's your sign?
She: Dollar. 
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A woman meets with her lover, who is also her husband's best friend.
They make love for hours. Afterwards, as they lie in bed, the phone rings.
Since it's the woman's house, she picks up the receiver.
The best friend listens, only hearing her side of the conversation:
"Hello? Oh, hi... I'm so glad that you called... Really? That's wonderful... Well, I'm happy to hear you're having such a great time... Oh, that sounds terrific... Love you, too. OK. Bye-bye."
She hangs up the telephone and her lover asks, "Who was that?"
"Oh," she replies, "That was my husband telling me about the wonderful time he's having on his fishing trip with you."
Jennifer, wanna go to my place?
I am not Jennifer
But I didn't ask about that...
Q: What do you call that useless piece of skin around a vagina?
A: A woman.
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Q: How many Asian girls does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, 'cause they couldn't reach it.
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I don't have a girlfriend, I just know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.
Q: What happens if your dishwasher stops working?
A: You punch her in the face and remind her of her duties.
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Q: Why the men's voice is louder than women?
A: men have an antenna!
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A sexy woman walks up to the counter and motions the bartender over.
She starts to run her fingers through his hair and asks to speak to the manager.
The Bartender replies, "Sorry, the manager is out. Can I help you?"
By this time the woman has run her fingers over his face and in his mouth where the horny bartender is gently sucking on them.
She says, "You sure he isn’t here?"
The bartender mumbles through her fingers, "Yes, he’s out for another 2 hours. Are you sure there is nothing I can do to help?"
The woman then says, "Oh, I only wanted to tell him there’s no toilet paper or soap in the ladies toilets!"
Q: How did the medical community come up with the term "PMS"?
A: "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken.