Joke #3317

Why are men with pierced ears are better prepared for marriage? They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Vote: has 28.45 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Married men live longer than single men, but married men are more willing to die.
Vote: has 86.31 % from 239 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage
Marrying a man for his good looks is like buying a house for its paint.
Vote: has 86.90 % from 250 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
Vote: has 84.66 % from 250 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, nerd, technology
‘Why don’t you go home to your wife. Better yet, I’ll go home to your wife and, outside of the improvement, she won’t notice any difference.’ Groucho Marx
Vote: has 31.97 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage
I was married to a Gemini she caught me cheating on her with herself.
Vote: has 66.45 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, sex
Husband: Knocks the door at midnight. Wife: Go back where you coming from! Husband: Open the door or I throw myself in the swimming pool! Wife: Go ahead and kill yourself, do you think I care? So the husband stands near the dark part of the gate and waits for 2 minutes, takes a big stone and throws it into the swimming pool. !!!!..Scheweew..!!!! Wife hears and opens the door and runs towards the swimming pool. The husband quickly sneaks into the house then locks the door. Wife: Open the door or I will shout!! Husband: Shout till all the neighbours wakes up and comes here. Tell them where you are coming from by this time of the night with only a panty and a bra!
Vote: has 85.39 % from 340 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, husband, marriage, time, wife
What are the similarities between a new wife and a tornado, there's a lot of suckin and blowin and then u lose ur house.
Vote: has 41.83 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, weather, wife
Once upon a time, in a far away land, a beautiful independent, confident princess met a frog, while sitting and considering the environmental issues of the world, at the side of an infected lake, in a very green meadow, near her castle. The frog jumped on princess’ knees and said: "My sweet lady, once I was a handsome prince, until an evil witch cursed me. I f you kiss me, however, I will become again that graceful prince I once was. Then, my sweety, we will get married and we will live in your castle, and you will cook for me, you will wash my clothes, and you will give birth to my childre and you will feel so happy and graceful for being able to do all these things forever!" That night, the princess enjoying her nice cooked frog legs, she chuckled inside and thought: "...and then he woke up."
Vote: has 45.29 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage
A wife woke up in the middle of the night to find her husband missing from bed. She got out of bed and checked around the house, and heard sobbing from the basement. After turning on the light and descending the stairs, she found her husband curled up into a little ball, sobbing. "Honey, what's wrong?" she asked, worried about what could hurt him so much. "Remember, 20 years ago, I got you pregnant? And your father threatened me to marry you or to go to jail?" "Yes, of course," she replied. "Well, I would have been released tonight."
Vote: has 52.42 % from 50 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: husband, marriage, prison, wife
I met a sista once who told me she could tell how good a brotha is in bed simply by the way he opens the door to his apartment. So, I asked her how. She said if that brotha fumbles with the keys, that means he doesn't know what he's doing. If he opens the door too quick, means he's too fast and he's a total waste of time. But if that brotha opens the door with a smooth, controlled movement, that means he's real good in bed. Then she asked me how I open the door to my apartment. I told her, "Honey, I lick the lock first."
Vote: has 50.96 % from 46 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage