Joke #3357

Aunt's Pay A young lady went to the dress shop where her aunt worked and picked up her aunt's pay. On the way home she was robbed, so she called the police and said, "I just lost my aunt's pay." The desk sargeant said , "Ouyay, Unnyfay!"
Vote:
has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: cop

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Q: What did the Alabama Sheriff call the black man who shot himself 15 times? A: The worst suicide case he has ever seen.
Vote:
has 43.75 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: black people, cop, death, racist
Yo mama so scary, every time someone throws shots, she calls the police.
Vote:
has 41.83 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, cop, Yo mama
A man was recently flying to New York. He decided to strike up a conversation with his seat mate. "I've got a great policeman joke. Would you like to hear it?" "I should let you know first that I am a policeman." "That's OK. I'll tell it really slow!"
Vote:
has 77.37 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: cop
The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so Gomer - who was not exactly the sharpest nail in the bucket went in to try out for the job. "Okay," the sheriff drawled, "Gomer, what is 1 and 1?" "11" he replied. The sheriff thought to himself, "That's not what I meant, but he's right." "What two days of the week start with the letter 'T'?" "Today and tomorrow." He was again surprised that Gomer supplied a correct answer that he had never thought of himself. "Now Gomer, listen carefully: Who killed Abraham Lincoln?" Gomer looked a little surprised himself, then thought really hard for a minute and finally admitted, "I don't know." "Well, why don't you go home and work on that one for a while?" So, Gomer wandered over to the pool hall where his pals were waiting to hear the results of the interview. Gomer was exultant. "It went great! First day on the job and I'm already working on a murder case!"
Vote:
has 83.48 % from 197 votes. More jokes about: cop, death, math
"Are you two twins?" "No, why do you ask?" "Because mommy dressed you both in the same clothes." "OK that's enough, your driver's license please."
Vote:
has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: car, communication, cop, driving, family
Why did the duck get arrested? because he was selling quack.
Vote:
has 39.78 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop, duck
Signs Your Cop Partner Needs A Vacation: 9. Every Tuesday he insists it's his turn to be the siren. 8. He wants to transfer to a K-9 unit because he thinks he'd look good in a collar. 7. He wants you to call him "Judge Dredd", and he insists that all suspects should be executed right there on the spot. 6. He talks to himself. Half of him is the "good cop", and the other half is the "bad cop". 5. He keeps asking you if his bullet proof vest makes him look fat. 4. He is exchanging donut recipes with complete strangers. 3. The perpetrators beg him to stop talking about his relationship troubles. 2. He wants to hear less talk and more music on the police channel. 1. He keeps handcuffing himself by accident!!
Vote:
has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: cop
After a day fishing in the ocean a fisherman is walking from the pier carrying two lobsters in a bucket. He is approached by the Game Warden who asks him for his fishing license. The fisherman says to the warden, "I did not catch these lobsters, they are my pets. Everyday I come done to the water and whistle and these lobster jump out and I take them for a walk only to return them at the end of the day." The warden, not believing him, reminds him that it is illegal to fish without a license. The fisherman turns to the warden and says, "If you don't believe me then watch," as he throws the lobsters back into the water. The warden says, "Now whistle to your lobsters and show me that they will come out of the water." The fisherman turns to the warden and says, "What lobsters?"
Vote:
has 73.29 % from 111 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop, dirty, fish
Q: What do u call a police officer that works in bed? A: A undercover cop.
Vote:
has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: cop, work
A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW. “Officer, look what they’ve done to my Beeeeemer!!!”, he whined. “You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!”, retorted the officer. “You’re so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn’t even notice that your left arm was ripped off!” “Oh no!”, replied the lawyer, finally noticing the bloody left shoulder where his arm once was. “Where’s my Rolex???!!!”
Vote:
has 67.78 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: cop