Joke #3360

Husband: I want to go somewhere on holiday this year I've never been before. Wife: Well, how about the kitchen?
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has 35.28 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: marriage

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The best way to get your husband to do something is to suggest he’s too old to do it.
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has 85.38 % from 355 votes. More jokes about: marriage
There were three women who always hung their laundry out in the backyard. Two of the women noticed Sophie never had her laundry out on days that it rained. One day, they were all out in the backyard putting their clothes on the line when one of the women said to Sophie, "How come when it rains, your laundry is never out?" "Well," said Sophie, "when I wake up in the morning, I look over at Paul. If his penis is hanging over his right leg, I know I can hang out the wash. If his penis is hanging over his left leg, I know it's going to rain, so I don't hang out the wash." "What if it is pointed straight up?" asked one of the women. "On a day like that, I don't bother with the laundry."
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has 53.71 % from 128 votes. More jokes about: marriage, weather
Thomas is 32 years old and he is still single. One day a friend asked, "Why aren't you married? Can't you find a woman who will be a good wife?" Thomas replied, "Actually, I've found many women I wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them." His friend thinks for a moment and says, "I've got the perfect solution, just find a girl who's just like your mother." A few months later they meet again and his friend says, "Did you find the perfect girl? Did your mother like her?" With a frown on his face, Thomas answers, "Yes, I found the perfect girl. She was just like my mother. You were right, my mother liked her very much." The friend said, "Then what's the problem?" Thomas replied, "My father doesn't like her."
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has 85.75 % from 892 votes. More jokes about: family, marriage, single, wife, women
A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife made a wish too, but she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for a moment but then smiled, "It really works!"
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has 67.63 % from 1207 votes. More jokes about: husband, marriage, money, wife, work
Marriage is a workshop, where man works and woman shops.
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has 56.65 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: marriage
A man walks into his bedroom after work and is surprised to find his wife lying naked on the bed. After careful examination, he spies a pair of bare feet sticking out from underneath the curtains. He rips open the blinds to find a naked man standing there. "Who the hell are you?" he yells. The naked guy replies, "I'm the moth inspector." "Oh, yeah? What are you doing naked?" He looks down and exclaims, "Oh my God, I'm too late!"
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has 47.21 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, god, marriage, wife, work
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
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has 85.39 % from 589 votes. More jokes about: marriage, men, women
Three weeks after her wedding day, Joanna called the vicar who had married her. "Reverend," she wailed, "John and I have had a dreadful fight!" "Calm down, my child," said the Reverend, "it's not half as bad as you think it is. Every marriage has to have its first fight!" "I know, I know!" said Joanna, "but what on earth am I going to do with the body?"
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has 45.52 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: death, marriage, wedding
Man: You've brought religion into my life. Woman: Really? How? Man: Until I met you, I didn't believe in Hell.
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has 53.54 % from 190 votes. More jokes about: life, marriage, religious
Q:What's the worst thing your wife can say during sex? A:Honey I'm home.
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has 47.72 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: marriage, sex, wife