What usually happens when a man puts his best foot forward? It ends up in his mouth.
Q. Why do men name their penises? A. Because they don't want ninety per cent of their decisions made by a perfect stranger.
I'm busy. You're ugly. Have a nice day.
One guy says to a bald guy "Your hair ran away to find someone with a brain."
Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts.
John: I didn't sleep with my wife before we were married. Did you? Bob: I'm not sure. What was your wife's maiden name?
A man bought a new car. Next day he is driving his car to office. On the way he was waiting for the Signal. Suddenly he opened the door and got down. Then he went to the Traffic Police and asked him, "How much should I pay to turn right?" The Policeman was astonished and asked, "Why are you asking like this?" Then man showed him the sign board which was in the corner of the road: "Free Left Turn"
Q. How do men define a long-term relationship? A. A second date.
It’s not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn’t have the balls to do it.
Men come in three sizes: Small, medium, and OOoohhh yesss!
A foursome is waiting at the men's tee when another foursome of ladies are hitting from the ladies tee. The ladies are taking their time and when finally the last one is ready to hit the ball she hacks it about 10 feet, goes over to it, hacks it another ten feet and looks up at the men waiting and says apologetically "I guess all those fucking lessons I took this winter didn't help." One of the men immediately replies, "No, you see that's your problem. You should have been taking golf lessons instead."