What is a man's idea of helping with housework?
Lifting his leg so you can vacuum.
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Wouldn’t it be great if men were made by Kodak!
They would automatically shut off when they weren’t being used.
You wouldn’t have to wait for them to recharge after each shot.
They last longer and come with a warranty.
You can try them out first for a two-week trial period and return them if not satisfied with no risks or hassle.
They exist to capture the moment, not ruin it.
They come in fashion colors.
You can keep them in maximum zoom.
They come with replaceable or adjustable parts.
The parts that count are portable.
They don’t mind over-exposure.
They respond to the slightest touch.
The one you want is available at a KMART near you.
What does a man make best for dinner?
Reservations.
Why is it dangerous to tell the husband to go and change the son?
Two hours later he comes back with a baby girl.
Did you hear about the man who won the gold medal at the Olympics?
He had it bronzed.
I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'
So he gave me a kite.
Why do men buy electric lawn mowers?
So they can find their way back to the house.
One spelling mistake can destroy your life!
A husband wrote a message to his wife on his official trip and forgot to add 'e' at the end of a word:
"I am having such a wonderful time! Wish you were her..!"
When a woman gets a vibrator, it's seen as a bit of naughty fun. But when a guy orders a 240 volt Fuckmaster Pro 5000 blowup latex doll with 6 speed pulsating pussy, elasticized anus with non-drip semen collecting tray, together with optional built-in realistic orgasm scream 7.1 sound system, he's called a pervert.
Vote:
What should you give a man who has everything?
A. A woman to show him how to work it.
B. Penicillin.