What is a man's idea of helping with housework?
Lifting his leg so you can vacuum.
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A man ask his wife, "What would you do if I won the lottery?"
Wife says, "I would take half and leave you".
Man says, "Great! I have won a tenner, here a fiver now f*ck off!
Two gays were at a dance.
As they were jigging about the floor with each other.
Two massive guys entered the hall 6 foot 6 20 stone and full of muscle One gay asked his mate "Is that the bouncers that have just come in?"
"No" grinned the other,"That's the raffle."
A woman of 35 thinks of having children. What does a man of 35 think of?
Dating children.
Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds?
Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.
Did you hear about the man who spent too much of his company's money on Viagra?
Now he's hard up.
Q: What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
A: Snowballs.
What's the Australian Male's idea of foreplay?
"Brace yourself, Sheila."
Q: What is height of Stupidity?
A: A man looking through a keyhole of a glass door.
Men call us birds, is that because of all the worms we pick up?