Joke #3477

Q: How do you drown a blond? A: Don't tell her to swallow.
Vote:
has 24.11 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: blonde

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Q: Two blondes are standing on top of the Empire State Building. How can you tell which one is the true blonde and which one is the bleached blonde? A: The bleached blonde isn't throwing bread crumbs at the helicopters!
Vote:
has 60.85 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A redhead, a blonde and a brunette were stuck on an island and had to get back home from the island. The redhead swims half way and drowns. The brunette swims half way and drowns too. The blonde swims halfway gets tired and swims back.
Vote:
has 63.57 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: blonde, desert island, redneck, sport, stupid
One day three blondes were walking along and came upon a raging, violent river. They needed to get to the other side, but had no idea of how to do it. The first blonde prayed to god saying, "Please god, give me the strength to cross this river." Poof! God gave her big arms and strong legs, and she was able to swim across the river in about two hours. Seeing this the second blonde prayed to god saying, "Please god, give me the strength and ability to cross this river." Poof! God gave her a rowboat and she was able to row across the river in about three hours. The third blond had seen how this worked out for the other two, so she also prayed to god saying, "please god, give me the strength, ability, and intelligence to cross this river." And Poof! God turned her into a man. He looked at the map, then walked upstream and across the bridge.
Vote:
has 38.74 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: blonde, god, travel
Why can’t blondes put in light bulbs? They keep breaking them with the hammers.
Vote:
has 24.15 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: blonde
What do bleached blondes and jumbo jets have in common? Black boxes.
Vote:
has 22.34 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A blonde and a brunette are skydiving. The brunette jumps out the plane and pulls the cord and nothing happens. She pulls the emergency cord and still nothing. The blonde finally jumps out of the plane and yells, "Oh! So you wanna race, huh?"
Vote:
has 61.59 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: airplane, blonde
Two blondes were repairing a roof, with one working on one side and one on the other. After a while, one blonde noticed that her friend would carefully examine each nail before hammering it down, but half of the time she would toss the nail behind her after examining it. Figuring that there couldn't be that many bad nails, she yelled out to her friend: "Why are you tossing out all those nails?" "Well, those were all pointing the wrong way!" was the response. Infuriated, the first blonde bellowed "You, idiot! Those are for my side of the roof!!"
Vote:
has 59.20 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: blonde, communication, stupid, work
Three blondes are sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water. A Game Warden comes up behind them, taps them on the shoulder and says, “Excuse me, ladies, I’d like to see your fishing licenses.” “We don’t have any,” replied the first blonde. “Well, if you’re going to fish, you need fishing licenses,” said the Game Warden. “But officer,” replied the second blonde, “we aren’t fishing. We all have magnets at the end of our lines and we’re collecting debris off the bottom of the river.” The Game Warden lifted up all the lines and, sure enough, there were horseshoe magnets tied on the end of each line. “Well, I know of no law against it,” said the Game Warden. “Take all the debris you want.” And with that, he left. As soon as the Game Warden was out of sight, the three blondes started laughing hysterically. “What a dumb Fish Cop,” the second blonde said to the other two. “Doesn’t he know that there are steelhead trout in this river?”
Vote:
has 70.32 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: blonde, cop, fish
Q. Why is 68 the maximum speed for blonds? A. Because at 69 they blow a rod...
Vote:
has 31.03 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q. What is the difference between a blonde and a refrigerator? A. A refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull your meat out of it.
Vote:
has 25.64 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: blonde, fart