Q: How do you drown a blond?
A: Don't tell her to swallow.
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Q: How many blonde jokes are there?
A: One. The rest are all true stories.
A blonde gets lost in her car in a snowstorm.
She remembers her father's advice, "If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, wait for a snow plow and follow it."
Soon a snow plow comes by, and she follows it for about 45 minutes.
Finally, the driver of the truck gets out and asks her what she is doing.
She explains the advice her father had given her.
The driver says, "Well, I'm done with the parking lot here at the mall, now you can follow me over to the bank."
She is so blonde, when she went to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left," she turned around and went back home.
A blonde rings up an airline.
She asks, "How long are your flights from America to England?"
The woman on the other end of the phone says, "Just a minute..."
The blonde says, "Thanks!" and hangs up the phone.
Q: What do you say to a Blonde that won't give in?
A: "Have another beer."
A blind man walks into a bar, taps the man next him, and says, "Hey, wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The man says back to the blind man, "Look buddy, I'm blonde.
The man behind me is a 400-pound professional wrestler and he is blonde.
The bouncer is blonde.
The man sitting over to your left is also blonde. Still wanna tell that blonde joke?"
The blind man is silent for a moment and then says, "Nah, I wouldn't want to have to explain it five times."
Q. Did you hear about the funny blonde who tried to blow up her husband's car?
A. She burned her lips on the tailpipe.
How do you change a blonde’s mind?
Blow in her ear.
Q: How does a blonde order a root beer?
A: Extra large, hold the roots.
Me: If a blonde girl and brunette girl jumped off a cliff at the same time, who would hit the ground first?
Friend: I don't know, who?
Me: The brunnete, the blonde had to ask for directions.