A blonde goes to the doctor with both of her ears and her right hand are burned.
"Sit down and tell me how it happened," says the doctor.
"I was ironing my clothes when I received a call. Instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and burned my ear."
"What about the other ear and your hand?"
"I tried to call for an ambulance."
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A blonde hops on and off a curb on a busy street, saying 54 over and over.
A brunette walks by and asks what the blonde is doing.
The blonde replies that she is jumping on and off the curb saying 54 over and over.
The brunette joins her.
Soon, the brunette gets hit by a passing car.
The blonde watches as the car drives away.
The blond then continues to jump on and off the curb, saying 55 over and over.
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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all enter a swim meet.
The gun goes off, and the brunette quickly captures first, with the redhead coming in second.
An hour later, the blonde emerges from the pool and complains to the judges that while she was doing the breast stroke, the others were using their arms.
A blonde, a brunet and a red head were in a competition to see who could swim 60 miles accross a river.
The brunet swims 30 miles, gets a cramp and drowns.
The red head swims accross 30 miles, gets bit by a shark and drowns.
The blonde swims 30 miles accross, says: "I'm tired." and swims 30 miles back.
What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back
One day 2 blondes walked into a tanning salon.
One blonde said, " A tan for 2 please!"
The cashier said, " Ok," filled out a form for them and asked, "are you two sisters?"
They chuckled and replied, " No, we aren't even Catholic."
Three blondes were walking through the desert when they found a magic genie's lamp.
After rubbing the lamp to make the genie appear, he said, "I will grant three wishes, one for each of you."
The first said, "I wish I were smarter."
So, she became a redhead.
The second blonde said, "I wish I were smarter than she is."
She became a brunette.
The third blond ordered, "I wish I were smarter than both of them!"
So, she became a man.
Two girlfriends were speeding down the highway at well over a 100 miles per hour.
"Hey," asked the brunette at the wheel, "see any cops following us?"
The blonde turned around for a long look.
"As a matter of fact, I do."
"Oh, NOOOO!" yelled the brunette.
"Are his flashers on?"
The blonde turned around again.
"Yup...nope...yup...nope...yup..."
Why do blondes like lightning?
"They think someone is taking their picture."
Why are blondes only allowed a thirty-minute lunch break?
If they took an hour it would take too long to retrain them.
A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.
"Impossible," says the doctor.
"Show me."
She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams inagony.
She pushes her knee and screams,pushes her ankle and screams and so on it goes.
The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette are you?"
She says, "No, I'm really a blonde."
"I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken