Joke #3498

Q: How do you make four old ladies say "FUCK!"? A: Get a fifth one to yell "BINGO!"
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Robinson came home in great excitement and said to his wife, “You’ll never believe it, dear, but I’ve discovered an entirely new position for lovemaking.” “Really,” said Mrs. Robinson, interested at once. “What is it?” “Back to back.” “But that’s crazy. We can’t do anything back to back.” “Yes we can. I’ve persuaded another couple to help out.”
Vote: has 64.34 % from 39 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What's the difference between driving in the fog and eating pussy? A: At least when you are eating pussy you can see the asshole in front of you.
Vote: has 72.98 % from 398 votes. Send joke:

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Q. How can you tell a head nurse? A. She's the one with the dirty knees!
Vote: has 52.26 % from 64 votes. Send joke:

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An elderly gentleman went to see his doctor and asked for a prescription of Viagra. The doctor said, “That’s no problem. How many do you want?” The man answered, “Just a few, maybe 4, but cut each one in 4 pieces.” The doctor said, “That won’t do you any good.” The elderly gentleman said, “That’s all right. I don’t need them for sex anymore as I am over 90 years old. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don’t pee on my shoes.”
Vote: has 58.51 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

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Randy Rachel has got a speech impediment – she can’t say no.
Vote: has 36.10 % from 39 votes. Send joke:

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Q. What do gay kids get for Christmas? A. Erection Sets.
Vote: has 35.21 % from 62 votes. Send joke:

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A ship with 30 sailors and one woman strands on a desert island. After one month the woman says: "I can not proceed in this way." And she suicides herself. After another month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they bury the woman. The next month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they dig up the woman.
Vote: has 35.61 % from 54 votes. Send joke:

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One day God came down and said to three guys that the less you cheat on your wives the better the cars you'll get in heaven. So the first guy went to heaven after cheating on his wife 67 times and he got a Mercedes. The second guy went to heaven and had cheated on his wife 2 times and he got a Ferrari, then the third guy went to heaven and said that he had never cheated on his wife and he got a Bentley. Then one day the third guy was all sad and depressed and the first and second guys asked him what was wrong and the third guy said, "I saw my wife the other day" and the first guy said "yeah, so" and the third guy said " she was riding a skateboard."
Vote: has 74.40 % from 450 votes. Send joke:

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A hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in the front seat. The hippie looks over and asks the nun if she would have sex with him. The nun, surprised by the question, politely declines and gets off at the next stop. When the bus starts again, the bus driver says to the hippie, "If you want, I can tell you how you can get that nun to have sex with you." The hippie of course says that he'd love to know, so the bus driver tells him that every Tuesday evening at midnight the nun goes to the cemetery to pray to the lord. "If you went dressed in robes and some glowing powder," says the bus driver, "You could tell her you were God and command her to have sex with you." The hippie decides to try this out. That Tuesday, he goes to the cemetery and waits for the nun. Right on schedule, the nun shows up. While she's in the middle of praying, the hippie walks out from hiding, in robes and glowing with a mask of god. "I am God, I have heard your prayers and I will answer them but you must have sex with me first," he says. The nun agrees but asks for anal sex so she might keep her virginity. The hippie agrees to this and quickly sets about having sex with the nun. After the hippie finishes, he rips off his mask and shouts out, "Ha ha, I'm the hippie! " The nun replies by whipping off her mask and shouting, "Ha ha, I'm the bus driver!"
Vote: has 80.26 % from 3770 votes. Send joke:

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Q: Why did dinosaurs have sex under water? A: You try to keep five hundred pounds of pussy wet!
Vote: has 62.76 % from 87 votes. Send joke:

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