I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah; I thought, ''He's trying to pull a fast one''.
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What's black and white, stinks and hangs from a line?
A drip dry skunk.
A blind man was describing his favorite sport - parachuting.
When asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were all done for him: "I am placed in the door and told when to jump.
My hand is placed on my release ring for me, and out I go."
"But how do you know when you are going to land?" he was asked.
"I have a very keen sense of smell and I can smell the trees and grass when I am 300 feet from the ground," he answered.
But how do you know when to lift your legs for the final arrival on the ground?" he was again asked.
He quickly answered "Oh, the dog's leash goes slack."
Why does a chicken lay eggs?
Because if she dropped them, they’d break.
Koala: What do you mean, I'm not a bear? I have all the koalafications.
Elephant: Your koalafications are completely irrelephant.
Lion: Don't listen to him! He's lion!
Bear: This arguing is becoming unbearable!
Why do lions always eat raw meat?
"Because they don't know how to cook."
Chuck Norris doesn't scroll with a mouse.
He uses a lion.
Vote:
Spider: Why are you terrified by me?
Me: Well the reasons I had have all now been replaced by the fact you can talk.
Q: Why was the farmer arrested at the gym?
A: He was destroying his calves.
A summer visitor asked the farmer how long cows should be milked.
"Oh, I reckon about the same as short ones!" the farmer answered.