Joke #3623

I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah; I thought, ''He's trying to pull a fast one''.

One day, a priest was walking through a forest, when he came upon a pond. On the pond was a lily-pad, and on the lily-pad was the saddest frog the priest had ever seen! "Dear frog" the priest asked, "what is the matter? Why re you so sad?" "Well," said the frog, "I was not always a frog." "Tell me more" said the priest. "One day, I was waslking through these woods when I came upon a wicked witch. 'Stand aside witch' I said to her. But alas, she called me a nasty cheeky boy and turned me into a frog." "But that's terrible! Isn't there anything that can be done to reverse the spell?" asked the priest. "Well" said the frog, "if a kind person were to take me home for the night, feed me and put me to sleep on their pillow, I am sure I would wake up human again." "Well, this is your lucky day!" said the priest. So he took the frog home, fed him and put him to sleep on his pillow. And lo and behold, when he woke up the next morning, there was a 10 year old choir boy in his bead! "And that Your Honour, is the case for the Defence!"

If Chuck Norris were a cat he would have ten lives.

Sharks watch Chuck Norris week.

Why was the racehorse named Bad News? Because bad news travels fast!

What's a rabbits favorite TV show? Hoppy Days.

Chuck Norris can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At Night.

I applied for the position of a keeper at the zoo but turns out I was not koalafied.

What lives in the ocean, is grouchy and hates neighbours? A hermit crab.

"Waiter, what is this hare doing in my salad?" "I believe he's eating your lettuce."

How do bulls drive their cars? They steer them.