I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah; I thought, ''He's trying to pull a fast one''.
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Q. Why did the man cross the road?
A. He heard the chicken was a slut.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: It was escaping from K.F.C.
How could the dolphin afford to buy a house?
He prawned everything.
A young couple is out for a romantic Valentine's Day walk along a country lane.
They walk hand in hand and as they stroll, the lad's lustful desire rises to a peak.
He is just about to get frisky when she says, "I hope you don't mind, but I really do need to take a piss."
Slightly taken aback by this vulgarity, he suggests she go behind a nearby hedge.
She nods in agreement and disappears behind the shrubbery.
As he waits, he can hear the sound of her tight panties rolling down her long legs and imagines what is being exposed.
Unable to contain his animal thoughts a moment longer, he reaches through a gap in the foliage, and his hand touches her leg.
He quickly brings his hand further up her thigh until suddenly, and with great astonishment, he finds himself gripping a long, thick appendage that's hanging between her legs.
He shouts in horror, "My God, Claudette, I had no idea you were actually a man!"
"No, you don't understand!" she replies.
"I changed my mind, I'm taking a crap instead."
Vote:
Why did the moron give the sleepy cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay!
Q: What's a tiger running a copy machine called?
A: A copycat!
Why was the man sued by his horse?
For palomino-money!
Birdie, birdie in the sky
Dropped some white stuff in my eye,
I'm a big girl I won't cry,
I'm just glad that cows don't fly.
Vote:
Why did the gray whale go on a diet?
Because he wasn't a Fin whale.