Joke #3717

What's black and white, black and white, and black and white? (A panda bear rolling down a hill!)
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has 35.66 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: kids

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If a wizard was knocked out by Dracula in a fight what would he be? Out for the count!
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5 year old daughter: "Mom, why is some of your hair white?" Me: *smiles* "Every time you make me sad, another hair turns white." Daughter: *wide eyes* "Wow mom, what did you do to grandma?"
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has 82.80 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: kids, life, women
Q: What did the adding machine say to the cashier? A: You can count on me.
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"Mom, where do tampons go?" "Where the babies come from, darling." "In a stork?
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has 49.36 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: dirty, kids, stupid
During the Iraq War, As a soldier was saying good-bye to his family, his five-year-old son, James, held his leg and started pleading not to leave. "No, Daddy, please don't go!" he kept repeating. They were beginning to make a scene when his wife, desperate to calm him, said, "Let Daddy go and I'll take you to get a pizza." Immediately, James loosened his death grip, stepped back and in a calm voice said, "'Bye, Daddy."
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has 50.97 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: family, food, kids, military, war
At an art gallery, a woman and her ten-year-old son were having a tough time choosing between one of my paintings and another artist's work. They finally went with mine. "I guess you decided you prefer an autumn scene to a floral," I said. "No," said the boy. "Your painting's wider, so it'll cover three holes in our wall."
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has 78.23 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: customer service, kids
Susan's mother: "What are you doing on the top of that tree?" Susan: "Some boys are playing football their ball is fallen on the tree. They asked me to bring it." Susan's mother: "My dear , they only want to chech your pants." Susan: "Don't worry mam, I hav'nt put on my pants!"
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Nurse: "If youre going to give grapes to a baby make sure you cut them in half." Me: [visibly confused] Wife: "The grapes, not the baby."
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has 71.45 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: baby, kids, wife
*Me when I turn 18* Parents: Do this. Me: Dobby has no master. Dobby is a free elf.
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has 49.79 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: kids
Three kids come down to the kitchen and sit around the breakfast table. The mother asks the oldest boy what he’d like to eat. "I’ll have some fuckin’ French toast," he says. The mother is outraged at his language, hits him, and sends him upstairs. She asks the middle child what he wants. "Well, I guess that leaves more fuckin’ French toast for me," he says. She is livid, smacks him, and sends him away. Finally she asks the youngest son what he wants for breakfast. "I don’t know," he says meekly, "but I definitely don’t want the fuckin’ French toast."
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has 81.02 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: kids