Joke #3804

I make money the old-fashioned way. My salary is the same as it was ten years ago
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has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: money

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Three robbers break into a bank, but when they open the safe, they find only boxes. One robber opens a box and finds cups full of yogurt. "We didn't find any money, but we got something to eat," he tells his partners. They eat their fill and leave. The next morning's newspaper headline reads, "World's Largest Sperm Bank Robbed."
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has 78.68 % from 236 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food, money
If a fifty cent piece and a quarter were on the Empire State Building, which would jump off first? The quarter, because it has less sense (cents).
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has 21.90 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: money
Why did the millionaire count his money with his toes? So it wouldn't slip through his fingers!
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: money
One reason the Services have trouble operating jointly is that they don’t speak the same language. For example, if you told Navy personnel to “secure a building,” they would turn off the lights and lock the doors. Army personnel would occupy the building so no one could enter. Marines would assault the building, capture it, and defend it with suppressive fire and close combat. The Air Force, on the other hand, would take out a three-year lease with an option to buy.
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has 59.06 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: air force, death, military, money, navy
Why is money called dough? Because we all knead it.
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has 24.11 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: money
Harry to Tom: ‘My uncle died last week. Left me sod all.’ Tom: ‘Wow. Sod Hall. How many rooms has it got?’
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has 24.92 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: money
The pentagon said they had too many generals running around, so they decided to get rid of some of them. They offered $10,000 in severance pay for each inch of their body to be measured however they chose. The Air Force general went first. He said he wanted to be measured from his head to his toe. He was 69 inches. He received $690,000. Next up was the Army general. He wanted to be measured from the tip of his finger to the tip of his other finger. It was 80 inches. He received $800,000. The two generals were very happy with their earnings. Finally the Marine general came up. He said he wanted to be measured from the tip of his d**k to the tip of his balls. The man said, "Sir, do you know how much the other generals received?" The general said no. "Sir, they received $690,000 and $800,000 respectively, are you sure that is what you want measured?" The general said, "Just do it!" The man dropped the general's pants and measured his d**k. When he went for the general's balls, they weren't there. The man said, "Sir, where are your balls." The general said, "I left them back in Vietnam."
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has 83.63 % from 364 votes. More jokes about: air force, military, money, political
I’m proud to say I made my money the old-fashioned way. My dad left it to me in his will.
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has 48.02 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: money
‘If you owe the bank $100, that’s your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that’s the bank’s problem.’ John Paul Getty A woman rings her insurance company. ‘Our house burnt down and I want £100,000,’ she says.
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has 9.98 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: money
Yo mama is so poor that when I saw her walking down the street with one shoe and said "Hey miss, lost a shoe?" She said, "Nope, just found one!"
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has 68.89 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: communication, money, Yo mama