We were so poor the only way I could afford to get my suit pressed was to ride the subway during rush hour.
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Q: What's a shy and retiring accountant?
A: An accountant who is half a million shy and that's why he's retiring.
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An old miser comes into the bank with a huge bag of coins.
‘Gracious,’ says the bank teller.
‘Did you hoard all that yourself?’
‘No,’ replies the miser.
‘My sister whored most of it.’
Is everything expensive or I'm just poor?
A man goes into a bank and asks the cashier to check his balance, so the cashier pushes him over.
A guy walks in the local whorehouse, says "I want the cheapest one you got, I don't have much money."
The guy behind the counter says "How bout the $1.95 cent special?"
The customer says "ok", and he paid, headed to the room.
When he opened the door, he found this beautiful broad spread out, just waiting for him.
He rips off his clothes and starts going to town on her.
Suddenly, all this white stuff starts coming out of her mouth, nose, ears.
He freaked, "omg she's sick."
He ran to the desk and told the guy what was happe ning, and the guy says "hey Joe! The dead one's full again!"
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Joke has 53.76 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: black humor, customer service, dirty, disgusting, money
How many bankers does it take to change a light bulb?
Four.
One to hold the bulb, and three to try and remember the combination.
‘My grandfather always said, “Don’t watch your money; watch your health.”
So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money.
It was my grandfather.’
I bought a Jewish sports car.
Not only will it stop on a dime, it will pick it up too.
I've heard they're gas guzzlers though.
Q: Why do men pay more for car insurance?
A: Women don't get blow jobs while they're driving.
I was in Venice Beach in January and there was a homeless man with a sign that said "1 dollar for dirty joke."
Seemed like a good investment to me so I gladly handed over a dollar.
Homeless man: "Alright sir whats your name?"
Me: "John"
Homeless man: "So Johny, there is black rooster alright? How many legs does that chicken have."
Me: "Two?"
Homeless man: "Right, now how many wings this black rooster got?"
Me: "Two?"
Homeless man: "Right, now how many eyes this black rooster got?"
Me: "Two?"
Homeless man: "Right again, now there is this white cat walking around how many hairs are on that white cat?"
Me: "I don't know? A lot?"
Homeless man: "Well Johny, why do you know so much about black cock and not enough about white pussy."