Joke #4344

We were so poor the only way I could afford to get my suit pressed was to ride the subway during rush hour.

Q: Why can't the bankrupt cowboy complain? A: He has got no beef.

What kind of money do marsupials use? Pocket change!

An atheist buys an Ancient Roman Catholic lamp at an auction, takes it home, and begins to polish it. Suddenly, a genie appears, and says, "I'll grant you three wishes, Master." The atheist says, "I wish I could believe in you." The genie snaps his fingers, and suddenly the atheist believes in him. The atheist says, "Wow. I wish all atheists would believe this." The genie snaps his fingers again, and suddenly atheists all over the world begin to believe in genies. "What about your third wish?" asks the genie. "Well," says the atheist, "I wish for a billion dollars." The genie snaps his fingers for a third time, but nothing happens. "What's wrong?" asks the atheist. The genie shrugs and says, "Just because you believe in me, doesn't necessarily mean that I really exist."

Yo' Mama is so poor, she does a drive-by from the bus.

That bull you sold me is a lazy good-for-nothing. I told you he was a bum steer.

Men are like.....Coffee The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.

Fresh out of business school, the young man answered a want ad for an accountant. Now he was being interviewed by a very nervous man who ran a small business that he had started himself. "I need someone with an accounting degree," the man said. "But mainly, I'm looking for someone to do my worrying for me." "Excuse me?" the accountant said. "I worry about a lot of things," the man said. "But I don't want to have to worry about money. Your job will be to take all the money worries off my back." "I see," the accountant said. "And how much does the job pay?" "I'll start you at eighty thousand." "Eighty thousand dollars!" the accountant exclaimed. "How can such a small business afford a sum like that?" "That," the owner said, "is your first worry."

You can't buy happiness but you can buy weed… and that's pretty close.

What’s the difference between a pigeon and a tramp? The pigeon can put a deposit on a Porsche.

A Jewish boy asked his father "Father, can you lend me 50 dollars?" The father replied, "40 dollars, What do you need 30 dollars for?"