Joke #3815

Q: What is a zebra? A: A horse behind bars.

Q: If a horses foot covers 2 acres of land, what will his tail cover? A: His ass!

We must admit that we want to be like some animals. We all want to be strong like a bear, we want to have a sharp sight like a falcon, the intelligence like an owl, the endurance like a horse, we want to sing like a skylark, we want to be running like a fox and of course we all want to have the salivas like a dragon lizard.

You're riding a horse full speed, there's a giraffe beside you, and you're being chase by a lion. What do you do? Get your drunk ass off the carousel.

A retiring farmer in preparation for selling his land, needed to rid his farm of animals. So he went to every house in his town. To the houses where the man is the boss, he gave a horse. To the houses where the woman is the boss, a chicken was given. He got toward the end of the street and saw a couple outside gardening. "Who's the boss around here?" he asked. "I am." said the man. "I have a black horse and a brown horse," the farmer said, "which one would you like?" The man thought for a minute and said, "The black one." "No, no, no, get the brown one." the man's wife said. "Here's your chicken." said the farmer.

Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.

Did you hear about the Irishman who couldn't tell the difference between his two horses? His friend suggested measuring them, that didn't help though, the Irishman discovered that the brown horse was only an inch taller than the white one!

A plowhorse, a honeybee and an old geezer are debating about which of them is the greatest. 
The horse says, "I can plow all day long to provide food for dozens of people!" "
The bee says, "I pollinate all the plants every year and make honey besides!" 
 The old geezer says... (We're waiting...)

A white horse goes into a bar, and orders a pint of bitter. "Blimey," the barman says, "we sell a whisky named after you." "What, Eric?" says the horse.

What is the difference between turkey and mother-in-law? There is no difference: both are the best when they are cold on the table.

A Horse walks into a bar: "Hey buddy," says the bartender, "why the long face?"