Joke #3825

I’ve just come into some money. I wonder if they’ll still accept it at the shop?
Vote: has 39.90 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

How do two programmers make money? One writes viruses, the other anti-viruses.
Vote: has 84.33 % from 156 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: coding, IT, money, programmer
How do you start a Jewish parade? Throw a penny down main street.
Vote: has 73.22 % from 132 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: jewish, money, racist
An old geezer, who had been a retired farmer for a long time became very bored and decided to open a medical clinic. He put a sign up outside that said: "Get your treatment for $500 - if not cured get back $1,000." Doctor "Young," who was positive that this old geezer didn't know beans about medicine, thought this would be a great opportunity to get $1,000. He went to Dr. Geezer's clinic and this is what happened. Dr. Young: "Dr. Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth. Can you please help me? Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr. Young's mouth." Dr. Young: "Aaagh! This is Gasoline!" Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your taste back. That will be $500." Dr. Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money. Dr Young: "I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything." Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth." Doctor Young: "Oh no you don't, that's Gasoline!" Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your memory back. That will be $500." Dr. Young (after having lost $1000) leaves angrily and comes back after several more days. Dr. Young: "My eyesight has become weak I can hardly see!" Dr. Geezer: "Well, I don't have any medicine for that so. Here's your $1000 back." Dr. Young: "But this is only $500..." Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You got your vision back! That will be $500." Moral of story: Just because you're "Young" doesn't mean that you can outsmart an old "Geezer "
Vote: has 86.93 % from 676 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: hospital, medical, memory, money, old people
A man being mugged by two thugs put up a tremendous fight! Finally, the thugs subdued him and took his wallet. Upon finding only two dollars in the wallet, the surprised thug said "Why did you put up such a fight?" To which the man promptly replied "I was afraid that you would find the $200 hidden in my shoe!"
Vote: has 37.02 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money
Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains? If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
Vote: has 43.21 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money
A boss said to his secretary, "I want to have SEX with you I will make it very fast. I'll throw $1000 on the floor, by the time you bend down to pick it I'll be done." She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend then said to her, do it but "Ask him for $2000, pick up the money very fast he wouldn't even have enough time to undressed himself." So she agrees. Half an hour goes by, the boyfriend decides to call girlfriend, he asks, "what happened?" She responds, "The Bastard used coins I'm still picking and he is still fucking!"
Vote: has 81.07 % from 14640 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: management, money, sex, time
Fresh out of business school, the young man answered a want ad for an accountant. Now he was being interviewed by a very nervous man who ran a small business that he had started himself. "I need someone with an accounting degree," the man said. "But mainly, I'm looking for someone to do my worrying for me." "Excuse me?" the accountant said. "I worry about a lot of things," the man said. "But I don't want to have to worry about money. Your job will be to take all the money worries off my back." "I see," the accountant said. "And how much does the job pay?" "I'll start you at eighty thousand." "Eighty thousand dollars!" the accountant exclaimed. "How can such a small business afford a sum like that?" "That," the owner said, "is your first worry."
Vote: has 51.70 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: business, money, school
Four Laws of Accounting: 1. Trial balances don't. 2. Bank reconciliations never do. 3. Working capital does not. 4. Return on investments never will.
Vote: has 78.80 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: accountant, money, work
Yo' Mama is so poor, when she goes to the park, the pigeons throw her bread.
Vote: has 51.34 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, insulting, money, Yo mama
Yo momma is so poor she ran after a trash can truck with her shoping list.
Vote: has 64.28 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money, Yo mama