Joke #3843

Money can’t buy happiness, but it can rent it for a couple of hours.
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A woman walks into a saloon and stands on a chair. "Fellas! My p***y is so big that I'll give $100 to anyone who has something that I can't take." A big cowboy gets up and takes off his size 16 cowboy boots and shoves them into her p***y. The boots are sucked right in. He grabs a flashlight and, that too, is sucked in. He puts his face in between her legs to get a better look and he gets sucked in. Inside he hears noises. "Is someone else in here?" he asks. "Yeah, I've been in here for a week," the voice says. "Help me find my flashlight and we can get out of here," the cowboy says. "Hell," says the other man, "help me find my keys and we can drive out."
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A man walks into a New York City bank and says he wants to borrow $2,000 for three weeks. The loan officer asks him what kind of collateral he has. The man says "I've got a Rolls Royce -- keep it until the loan is paid off -- here are the keys." The loan officer promptly has the car driven into the bank's underground parking for safe keeping, and gives the man $2,000. Three weeks later the man comes into the bank, pays back the $2,000 loan, plus $10 interest, and regains possession of the Rolls Royce. The loan officer asks him, "Sir, if I may ask, why would a man who drives a Rolls Royce need to borrow two thousand dollars?" The man answers, "I had to go to Europe for three weeks, and where else could I store a Rolls Royce for that long for ten dollars?"
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Yo momma so poor I farted in her house and she bowed her head, stomped her feet and praised the lord saying " we got heat".
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Being poor has its advantages. For example your keys are never in your other trousers.
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A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it."
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What’s six inches long, two inches wide and drives women wild? A fifty-dollar bill.
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Why is money called dough? Because we all knead it!
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Yo mama so poor that when I stepped on a cigarette she said "who turned off the heat?"
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Q: What did the fool do with his first 50 cent piece? A: He Married Her
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Our family was so poor our Christmas dinner was the leftovers from our last Christmas dinner.
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