Joke #3846

Do files get embarrassed when they’re unzipped?
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You know, I have Google+, Facebook, Twitter, Skype accounts... Man, and do you have life? OMG, No! Could you send me a link?
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How can you tell which one of your friends has the new iPhone 6 plus? Don't worry, they'll let you know.
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When Chuck Norris surfs the Internet, he actually surfs on a virtual wave of 1's and 0's.
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Two geeks are talking over lunch. The first guy says, "You wouldn't believe what happened this morning. A girl rode up to me on her bike, took off all her clothes, and said 'Take whatever you want!' … So I took the bike" The second guy says, "Good choice, her clothes probably wouldn't have fit you."
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Why did the lumberjack get nowhere with the internet? He kept logging on and off.
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Your file was so big. It might be very useful. But now it is gone.
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Google+ is the gym of social networking. We all join, but nobody actually uses it.
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Angry geek dad shouted to kid, "End of discussion; Semicolon;"
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Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asked a young Engineer fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?" The Engineer replies, "In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." The interviewer enquires, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years say, a red Corvette?" The Engineer sits up straight and says, "Wow! Are you kidding?" And the interviewer replies, "Yeah, but you started it."
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Programming is like sex. One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
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