Do files get embarrassed when they’re unzipped?
You know, I have Google+, Facebook, Twitter, Skype accounts... Man, and do you have life? OMG, No! Could you send me a link?
How can you tell which one of your friends has the new iPhone 6 plus? Don't worry, they'll let you know.
When Chuck Norris surfs the Internet, he actually surfs on a virtual wave of 1's and 0's.
Two geeks are talking over lunch. The first guy says, "You wouldn't believe what happened this morning. A girl rode up to me on her bike, took off all her clothes, and said 'Take whatever you want!' … So I took the bike" The second guy says, "Good choice, her clothes probably wouldn't have fit you."
Why did the lumberjack get nowhere with the internet? He kept logging on and off.
Your file was so big. It might be very useful. But now it is gone.
Google+ is the gym of social networking. We all join, but nobody actually uses it.
Angry geek dad shouted to kid, "End of discussion; Semicolon;"
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asked a young Engineer fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?" The Engineer replies, "In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." The interviewer enquires, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years say, a red Corvette?" The Engineer sits up straight and says, "Wow! Are you kidding?" And the interviewer replies, "Yeah, but you started it."
Programming is like sex. One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.