Q: What's the Internet's favorite animal? A: The lynx.
The computer programmer to his son: "Here, I brought you a new basketball." Son: "Thank you, daddy, but where is the user's guide?"
When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
What happens if you download the Princess Diana screensaver application? Your iphone will keep crashing!
How many computer programmers does it take to change a light bulb? Are you kidding? That’s a hardware problem!
Q: What do you call a group of 8 hobbits A: Hobbyte.
What did the spider do on the computer? Made a website!
I changed my password to "incorrect". So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say "Your password is incorrect".
When Chuck Norris surfs the Internet, he actually surfs on a virtual wave of 1's and 0's.
When Nasa first began sending astronauts into space, they were confronted by a small problem. Their standard ballpoint pens would not work in space. They spent a decade and twelve million dollars designing a pen that would work below three hundred degrees, in space, and on glass. Russia used a pencil.
When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it’s probably obsolete.