Joke #3902

What I want to know is how did a fool and his money get together in the first place?

One day little Flora was taken to have an aching tooth removed. That night, while she was saying her prayers, her mother was surprised to hear her say: "And forgive us our debts as we forgive our dentists."

He was so poor he didn’t even get a yo-yo for Christmas. His parents could only afford a yo.

At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. “Isn’t it true,” he bellowed, “that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?” The witness stared out the window, as though he hadn’t heard the question. “Isn’t it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?” the lawyer repeated. The witness still did not respond. Finally, the judge leaned over and said, “Sir, please answer the question.” “Oh,” the startled witness said, “I thought he was talking to you.”

It is so cold outside I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.

One evening, a Counselor saw Max on his hands and knees. 'What are you doing?' she asked. 'I'm looking for my dollar bill,' Max replied. 'I lost it down the road.' 'Why don't you look for it there?' 'Because the light's better here!'

Yesterday I was at the hairdresser to cut my hair. The cutting of the hair costs 3 Euros but I had only 1 Euro. So I have asked the hairdresser if she will cut my hair also for 1 Euro? She said yes, so I was glad. Ok, it is not perfect, one side of my head is cut a little bit more than the other one, maybe I look a bit weird, but nobody is perfect.

Patient to friend: "I saw the doctor to day about my loss of memory." Friend: "What did he do?" Patient: "He made me pay him in advance."

Why don't cows ever have any money? Because the farmers milk them dry.

Q: Why is divorce so costly? A: Because its justified, despite all the trouble.

A doctor notices a sidewalk stand that says 'brains for sale.' He goes over to investigate and sees a sign that says 'Doctor brains $8.00 a pound' and another sign that says 'Paramedic brains $12.00 a pound, Nurses brains $30.00 a pound, truck driver $40.00 a pound and lawyers brains $90.00 a pound.' So he asks the man behind the cash register, how come his brains are only worth 8.00 and a lawyer's worth 90.00? The man replies, "Do you know how many lawyers it takes to make a pound of brains?