Joke #3959

He never got married. He said he didn’t want to make the same mistake once.
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Marriage is a workshop, where man works and woman shops.
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Its my birthday today. My wife has said that shes going to make it my most special birthday ever... I wonder where shes going ?
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Marriage is love. Love is blind. Marriage is an institution. Therefore: marriage is an institution for the blind.
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Wife to husband: ‘When I married you you said you had an ocean-going yacht!’ Husband: ‘Shut up and row.’
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A guy goes into a tattoo parlor and asks for a tattoo of a $100 bill on his penis. Curious, the tattoo artist asks him why he would possibly want that. "Three reasons: I like to play with my money, I like to watch my money grow, and a hundred dollars seems to be the only thing my wife will blow these days."
Vote: has 86.62 % from 505 votes. Send joke:

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Wife: Do you want dinner? Husband: Sure, what are my choices? Wife: Yes and no.
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I was married to a Gemini she caught me cheating on her with herself.
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Doctor, my husband is 300% impotent. "I'm not quite sure what you mean. Could you elaborate?" "Well, the first part you can imagine, but he also burned his tongue and broke his finger."
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Q: Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up women? A: Because a woman who can't afford her own washing machine won't be able to support you.
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Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in. Jacob addresses the man behind the counter: 'Are you the owner?' The pharmacist answers yes. Says Jacob: 'We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?' Pharmacist: 'Of course we do.' Jacob: 'How about medicine for circulation?' Pharmacist: 'All kinds.' Jacob: 'Medicine for rheumatism, scoliosis? ' Pharmacist: 'Definitely.' Jacob: 'How about Viagra?' Pharmacist: 'Of course.' Jacob: 'Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundice?' Pharmacist: 'Yes, a large variety. The works.' Jacob: 'What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson's disease?' Pharmacist: 'Absolutely.' Jacob: 'You sell wheelchairs and walkers?' Pharmacist: 'All speeds and sizes.' Jacob says to the pharmacist: 'We'd like to register here for our wedding gifts, please.'
Vote: has 53.93 % from 105 votes. Send joke:

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