Joke #3968

A couple are arguing over money. ‘Do you know,’ says the man. ‘If it weren’t for my money this house wouldn’t be here at all.’ ‘Yes,’ says his wife. ‘And if it weren’t for your money neither would I.’
Vote:
has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: money

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Q: Who was the first accountant? A: Adam. He got interested in figures, turned the first leaf, made the first entry lost interest after withdrawal, buggered up the monthly accounts and raised the first liability.
Vote:
has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: accountant, money, work
Two lawyers are in a bank, when, suddenly, armed robbers burst in, waving guns and yelling for everyone to freeze. While several of the robbers take the money from the tellers, others line the customers, including the lawyers, up against a wall, and proceed to take their wallets, watches, and other valuables. While this is going on, one of the lawyers jams something into the other lawyer's hand. Without looking down, the second lawyer whispers: "What is this?" The first lawyer replies: "It's the $100 I owe you."
Vote:
has 52.49 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, money
Living on earth may be expensive, but it includes an annual free trip around the sun.
Vote:
has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: money
Bills travel through the post at twice the speed of cheques.
Vote:
has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: money
We were so poor our mother would send us out with a shopping list to chase the garbage truck.
Vote:
has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: money
Three boys were walking along the beach one day when they see a cave. The first boy goes in and is looking at a banknote on a big rock when a ghostly voice calls out '' I am the ghost of Auntie Abel and this five dollars stays on the table!'' The second boy goes in and is reaching for the money when the same thing happens again. The third boy goes in ,sees the five dollars and cries out,''I am the ghost of David Crockett and this five dollars goes in my pocket!''
Vote:
has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: money
In the town I have met one older woman, she told me: "if you give me ten euros, I will pray for your black soul." I gave her the ten euros, became suspicious, didn't believe her and told her: "ok, but pray for me right now, not in the evening." The woman has begun: "guardian angel, please, take care of my soul, forgive me all my sins and give me everything I need in my life." I have asked her only: "for my money?"
Vote:
has 34.13 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: life, money, old people, religious
George Bush, Queen Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin all die and go to hell. While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for. The devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth. Putin calls Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When he was finished the devil informs him that the cost is a million dollars, so Putin writes him a check. Next Queen Elizabeth calls England and talks for 30 minutes. When she’s finished the devil informs her that cost is 6 million dollars, so Queen Elizabeth writes him a check. Finally George Bush gets his turn and talks for 4 hours. When he’s finished the devil informed him that there would be no charge and feel free to call the USA anytime. Putin goes ballistic and asks the devil why Bush got to call the USA free. The devil replied, "Since Obama became president of the USA, the country has gone to hell, so it’s a local call."
Vote:
has 71.61 % from 100 votes. More jokes about: money
If Asda is lowering prices every day, why isn’t anything in the shop free yet?
Vote:
has 12.72 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: money
Little boy says to his father: "Daddy, I heard on the news that cigarettes have become much more expensive. Does it mean that you're going to smoke less from now on?" And father replies: "No, son. I will smoke as much as a have. But, you'll be eating less!"
Vote:
has 68.56 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: dad, food, kids, mean, money