Joke #4741

A man is trying to understand the nature of God, time, and the Universe. He asks God, “How long is a billion years to you?” God says, “A billion years is like a second to me.” The man asks, “Well, how much is a billion dollars to you?” God says, “A billion dollars is like a penny to me.” So the man says, “God, can I have a penny?” And God replies, “In a sec.”
Vote:
has 79.95 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: money

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

I can't see the point of going to a lap-dancing club. If I wanted a woman who would take my money and sexually frustrate me, I would get married.
Vote:
has 81.45 % from 131 votes. More jokes about: marriage, mean, money, sex, women
An old couple is at a fair an the old man sees a helicopter ride for $50. The old man asks his wife, "I don't have much time left. Can I take I ride in one of them helicopters?" His wife responds, "Oh well that's way too expensive." The man running the helicopter rides as a pilot hears their conversation and makes them a deal. "Hey, I'll take you on a ride for free, but you can't make one sound. If you do, then you have to pay $50." says the pilot. The couple climbs in the helicopter. The pilot takes off and does awesome tricks with the helicopter. The couple never made a sound. The pilot lands the helicopter and says, "Wow, impressive, usually people make so much noise on these rides." The old man says, "Well, I almost made a noise when my wife fell out of the helicopter, but these rides are too expensive."
Vote:
has 79.71 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: black humor, couple, death, money, old people
I hate paying my income tax. You should be a good citizen - why don't you pay with a smile? I'd like to but they insist on money!
Vote:
has 16.16 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: money, tax
‘The United States has developed a new weapon that destroys people but it leaves buildings standing. It’s called the stock market.’ Jay Leno
Vote:
has 80.45 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: money
A motorist gets caught in an automated speed trap that photographs his car. He later receives a ticket in the mail for $40 with a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sends the police department a photograph of $40. A few days later, he gets a letter from the police department with a picture of handcuffs.
Vote:
has 78.95 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: car, cop, money
What leads most people into debt? Trying to catch up with people who are already there.
Vote:
has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: money
The economy got very bad in 2008. I saw a pimp driving a beat up old Volkswagon.
Vote:
has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: car, driving, money, time
The woman comes with her husband to the psychiatrist and tells the psychiatrist: "Please, do something with my man, because he thinks of himself that he is a horse." The psychiatrist says: "Oh, it will be a long and expensive therapy." The woman: "Ok, don´t worry, we can enough money because my husband has already won three times the horse racings."
Vote:
has 55.11 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: doctor, horse, marriage, money
Q: Who was the best business woman in the Bible? A: Pharoah's daughter – she drew a profit from the rush at the bank.
Vote:
has 49.00 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: bible, business, money, women
A young woman walks into a bank to withdraw some money. ‘Can you identify yourself?’ asked the bank clerk. The young woman opens her handbag, takes out a mirror, looks into it and says, ‘Yes, it’s me all right.’
Vote:
has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: money