Joke #3982

Husband to wife: ‘You have a flat chest and hairy legs. Tell me, have you ever been mistaken for a man?’ ‘No,’ replies his wife. ‘Have you?’
Vote:
has 39.94 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: marriage

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

"Honey, on this Valentine's Day, I want to tell you something... I'm not rich like Jack, I don't have a mansion like Russell, or I don't have a Porsche like Martin, but I do love you and want to marry you." "Oh, dear... I love you too... but, what was that you said about Martin?"
Vote:
has 68.66 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: love, marriage, mean, money, Valentines day
Three guys all think that their wives are cheating on them. The first guy thinks his wife is screwing a plumber because he found a tool belt under his bed. The second guy thinks his wife is screwing a judge because he found a robe and gavel under his bed. The third guy says, "That's nothing! I came home and found a cowboy under my bed. I can't believe my wife is screwing a horse."
Vote:
has 53.07 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late."
Vote:
has 85.15 % from 243 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Some strangers sit at the bar. One guy says, "My name is Larry, and I am a SNAG." Another guy asks, "What's that?" The first guy says, "I am a Single, New Age Guy." Another guy says, "My name is Gary, and I am a DINK." A lady asks, "What's that?" He says, "Double Income, No Kids." The lady says, "That's nice. My name is Gertrude, and I am a WIFE." Larry asks, "A WIFE?" Gertrude says, "Wash, Iron, F**k, Etc."
Vote:
has 52.00 % from 105 votes. More jokes about: marriage
A woman is standing looking in the bedroom mirror… She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, “I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly… I really need you to pay me a compliment.” The husband replies, “Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.”
Vote:
has 82.79 % from 1126 votes. More jokes about: fat, marriage, ugly
"Mr. Ben, I am asking for your daughter's hand." "Why? I don't get it, don't you have a hand?" "I do sir, but I'm sick and tired with my own hand sir!"
Vote:
has 77.21 % from 186 votes. More jokes about: dirty, marriage, masturbation
Husband: "Right now, for this Women's Day, I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world!" Wife: "Oh dear, I will miss you!"
Vote:
has 78.02 % from 99 votes. More jokes about: holiday, marriage, mean, women
A drunk phones the police to report that thieves have been in his car. ‘They’ve stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator,’ he cries out… ‘Oh hang on. I’m in the back seat.’
Vote:
has 35.78 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Q: What's the difference between a divorce and a circumcision? A: In a divorce, you get rid of the whole schmuck.
Vote:
has 48.41 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: divorce, marriage
My wife said to me, "For our anniversary I want to go somewhere I've never been before." So I said, "Try the kitchen!"
Vote:
has 71.88 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: anniversary, communication, marriage, mean, travel