Joke #3998

Why’s a fat woman like a skateboard? They’re both fun to ride, but you wouldn’t want your friends to see you on one.
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has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: money

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This guy named "John" asked advice how to lose extra LBS gained during vacation and was told about some new fitness center. So John went to check it out. Walked in, put $10 on the counter and said: "I'd like to lose 10 LBS please?!" The receptionist smiled and pointed to a pink door. John walked slowly into the room and saw only a massage table, a gorgeous scantily dressed woman on the other side. She said in a sexy voice "If you catch me, you fxxx me! " John ran around n round, caught her and... A few days later John returned. He put $20 on the counter and said "I'd like to lose 20 LBS. The smiling receptionist and pointed to a red door. John strutting to the door, and entered where he beheld 2 beautifully attired very hot n sexy women kissing and caressing each other, then they stood up, gazed at John, who was already moving toward them. And they purred "you catch us, you fuck us!" Already in motion, John ran round n round caught one, then caught the other... The following week John went back again. He smiled while searching for the door he knew was waiting for him, and slapped $50 on the counter saying excitedly "50 LBS for 50 bucks." The receptionist pointed to a black door. John strode over with quick steps, opened the door and immediately heard a deep voice belonging to the biggest blackest buck naked she-male say excitedly "I catch you I fuck you!"
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has 66.77 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: fitness, money, time, vulgar, women
Q: How do you know you've got a good tax accountant? A: He's had a loophole named after him.
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has 66.77 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: accountant, money, tax
Q: How do you kill 1000 Jews at once? A: Throw a dollar off a cliff.
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has 40.19 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, jewish, money, racist
Teen Girl to Friend: "For the prom, I'm renting a limo, spending $500 on a new dress and bringing in the best makeup artist in the state to do my hair." Teacher who has overheard the conversation: "Wow, that's more than I spent for my wedding!" Teen Girl: "Yeah, well you can get married three or four times, but a prom is a once in a lifetime experience."
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has 71.09 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: beauty, money, party, teen
I’m proud to say I made my money the old-fashioned way. My dad left it to me in his will.
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has 44.24 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: money
The Bible says I'll pay for my sins. I already do, Escorts, drugs and alcohol don't come free.
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has 69.86 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bible, drug, money
Yo' Mama is so poor, when you ring her doorbell, she sticks her head out the window and yells, "DING DONG!"
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has 70.80 % from 101 votes. More jokes about: insulting, money, Yo mama
Little Johnny was in church, getting restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on. Not able to take it anymore, he leaned over to his father and whispered, "Hey, Dad, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?"
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has 67.04 % from 190 votes. More jokes about: church, dad, little Johnny, money, priest
Two elderly gin-soaked colonels are sitting at the bar of their club. ‘Lend me a tenner for a month, old boy,’ says one. ‘What does a month-old boy want a tenner for?’ asks the other.
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has 40.95 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: money
The clerk walks into the boss's office and says, "The auditors have just left, sir." "Have they finished checking the books?", asks the boss. "Very thoroughly," is the reply. "Well, what did they say", says the boss. "They want 15% to keep quiet."
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has 74.43 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: accountant, management, money