Chuck Norris does not play the lottery. It doesn't have nearly enough balls.
In Chuck Norris' yard, money does grow on trees.
Chuck Norris once broke a mirror over the head of a black cat while standing under a ladder on Friday the thirteenth. The next day he won the lottery.
Chuck Norris has never received an electricity bill, he powers everything with his rage
In 2011 someone asked Chuck Norris if he had ever been to Portugal. He answered: "Where?" The country went bankrupt.
Stores accept Monopoly money from Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris eats dinner at a restaurant, the wait staff tips him.
When Chuck Norris gets nominated for the ALS ice bucket challenge, the bucket donates $1000 to ALS research.
Chuck Norris doesn't have an ATM PIN – the machine just spits out cash – at every bank!
Chuck Norris doesn't worry about high gas prices. His vehicles run on fear.