Joke #4015

Lawyer: ‘Now that you have been acquitted, will you tell me truly? Did you steal the car?’ Client: ‘After hearing you in court, I’m beginning to think I didn’t.’

Two attorneys were walking out of a bar and a beautiful young lady walks by. One attorney turns to his associate and comments "Boy, I would like to fuck her! The other attorney thinks for a second and said "Out of what"?

Man to lawyer: ‘If I give you £500, will you answer two questions?’ Lawyer: ‘Absolutely. What’s the other question?’

Q:How can you tell the difference between an attorney lying dead in the road and a coyote lying dead in the road? A:With the coyote, you usually see skid marks.

Having lawyers make laws is like having doctors make diseases.

Q: Hear about the new sushi bar that caters exclusively to lawyers? A: It's called Sosumi.

How do you prevent a Lawyer from drowning? Shoot him before he hits the water!

"So let me get this straight," the prosecutor says to the defendant, "you came home from work early and found your wife in bed with a strange man." "That's correct," says the defendant. "Upon which," continues the prosecutor, "you take out a pistol and shoot your wife, killing her." "That's correct," says the defendant. "Then my question to you is, why did you shoot your wife and not her lover?" asked the prosecutor. "It seemed easier," replied the defendant, "than shooting a different man every day!"

A young lawyer says to ones of his colleagues: -A lawyer is the freest creature in the world. He’s not dependent of nothing except of his clients, his colleagues, judge and of the High Court...!

A lawyer with insomnia consults his doctor. ‘Which side is it best to lie on?’ he asks. ‘The side that pays your fee,’ replies the doctor.

A man walks into a bar with a alligator. He says to the bartender, ‘Do you serve lawyers here?’ ‘Sure do,’ replies the bartender. ‘Good,’ says the man. ‘Give me a beer, and a lawyer for my ’gator.’