Joke #3965

What’s the difference between a shame and a pity? If a busload of lawyers goes over a cliff and there are no survivors – that’s a pity. If there were any empty seats – that’s a shame.
Vote:
has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: lawyer

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A forester and a lawyer were in car accident and showed up at the pearly gates together. St. Peter greets them at the pearly gates and takes them to the homeswhere they will spend all of eternity. They get into St. Peter’s holy vehicle and head on down a gold road, which turns into a platinum road, which turns onto an even grander road paved with diamonds, to a huge mansion where St. Peter turns to the lawyer and says, here is your home for the rest of eternity, enjoy! And if there is anything you need, just let me know. Then St. Peter took the forester to his home, back down the diamond studded boulevard, down the platinum highway, down the street of gold, down an avenue of silver, along a stone alley and down an unpaved footpath to a shack. St Peter says “Here you go” and goes to leave when the forester says “Waitaminute!, how come the lawyer gets the big mansion and I get this shack?” St. Peter says: “Well, Foresters are a dime a dozen here, we have never had a lawyer before.”
Vote:
has 54.15 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: car, lawyer, money
Arguing with a lawyer is like mud wrestling with a pig: after a while you realize that the pig actually enjoys it.
Vote:
has 86.92 % from 303 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
A lawyer and a basketball player want to make a deal. Suggest a place where both of them would be happy to meet. Of course, they should at the court.
Vote:
has 32.17 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: communication, lawyer, sport
A man needing some legal help walks into a law firm. He asks an attorney: "If I give you $300 to help answer two legal problems I have, will you help me?" The attorney replies: "Sure, what's the other question?"
Vote:
has 77.81 % from 140 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, money
What do you call Satan and a lawyer? Twins!
Vote:
has 11.50 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Why don’t you see lawyers on the beach? Cats keep covering them with sand.
Vote:
has 22.04 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
What did the judge say when the skunk was on trial? Odour in court.
Vote:
has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, lawyer
A loan shark asks a lawyers advice: How can I get back my $1,000 from Johnny if I lost my loan receipt? Send a letter where you will write to him to send you the $2,000 he owns you. Ok but I only loaned him $1,000! That’s the idea, we want to get from hem a proof that he owns you $1,000...
Vote:
has 42.25 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
A doctor told his patient that his test results indicated that she had a rare disease and had only six months to live. "That's such a short amount of time, doctor. Isn't there anything I can do?" pleaded the patient. "Marry a lawyer," the doctor advised. "It will be the longest six months of your life."
Vote:
has 68.37 % from 100 votes. More jokes about: doctor, health, lawyer, marriage, time
How come sharks don’t attack lawyers? From professional courtesy.
Vote:
has 22.04 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal, lawyer