Joke #4028

I think you’ll find that any of my lady companions will tell you I’m a ‘five times a night man’. I really shouldn’t drink so much tea before I go to bed.

Have you heard about the new "Mint flavored birth control pill" for women that they take immediately before sex? They're called "Predickamints".

Q: What's the difference between driving in the fog and eating pussy? A: At least when you are eating pussy you can see the asshole in front of you.

A beautiful woman sits next to a drunk in a bar. He turns to her and says, ‘Hey, honey. How about you and me getting it on? I’ve got a couple of pounds and it looks like you could use the money.’ The woman turns to him and says, ‘What makes you think I charge by the inch?’

The four words most hated by men during sex? ‘Is it in yet?’

‘Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.’ Rodney Dangerfield

Question: Why do women close their eyes during sex? Answer: They can’t stand seeing a man have a good time.

Q. What's the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac, and a blonde? A. The prostitute says, "Aren't you done yet?" The nympho says, "Are you done already?" The blonde says, "Beige...I think I'll paint the ceiling beige."

A girl married with a man who had only one foot. Next day her mother rang her and asked: "My little tell me how did U feel the marriage?" Her daughter replied: "Woo real splendid; alas he has only one foot!" Her mom answered: "You must be too lucky, when I married your dad; he had only one inch!"

Q: What did dick say to rubber? A: "Cover me I'm going in."

Why is sex like a game of bridge? You don’t need a partner if you’ve got a good hand.