Joke #2380

Q: What did the penis say to the condom? A: Cover me im going in!
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has 76.74 % from 684 votes. More jokes about: sex

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A honeymoon couple go into a hotel and ask for a suite. ‘Bridal?’ asks the desk clerk. ‘No thanks,’ replies the bride, ‘I’ll just hang onto his shoulders.’
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Q: What is the difference between oral and anal sex? A: Oral sex makes your day and Anal sex makes your whole weak.
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Question: How can you tell if your wife is dead? Answer: The sex will be the same but the dishes will pile up.
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Q:What's the worst thing your wife can say during sex? A:Honey I'm home.
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has 47.72 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: marriage, sex, wife
"I just had sexed in school today, dad! You lied to me! You told me if I have sex before my 16th biurthday, my boyfriend will die." "Oh, he will, sweetheart, he will."
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has 66.34 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: age, birthday, dad, kids, sex
Two men visit a prostitute. The first man goes into the bedroom. He comes out ten minutes later and says, ‘Heck. My wife is better than that.’ The second man goes in. He comes out ten minutes later and says, ‘You know? Your wife IS better.’
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has 78.75 % from 1122 votes. More jokes about: sex
Why doesn't Osama bin Laden have sex with his five wives? Because every time he spreads their legs he sees Bush.
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has 61.94 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, military, sex, wife
Robinson came home in great excitement and said to his wife, “You’ll never believe it, dear, but I’ve discovered an entirely new position for lovemaking.” “Really,” said Mrs. Robinson, interested at once. “What is it?” “Back to back.” “But that’s crazy. We can’t do anything back to back.” “Yes we can. I’ve persuaded another couple to help out.”
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has 66.88 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: dirty, love, sex, wife
A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex.” The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend. “Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?” “Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”
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has 85.53 % from 4434 votes. More jokes about: sex
This desperate guy named Jim goes to the whorehouse with 5$. He buys a the cheapest prostitute named Sandpaper Sally. As they start to have sex, Jim screams, "Ouch! Now I know why they call you Sandpaper Sally!" Sally scoots out of the room. Five minutes later she came back and Jim attempts sex once again. "What the hell happened?" asks Jim, "This is the best sex I''ve ever had!" Sally replies, "Oh, I just picked my scabs."
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has 49.93 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, money, sex