Q: What did the penis say to the condom?
A: Cover me im going in!
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How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
When his hand caught fire.
What´s the difference between a goodyear and a fucking good year? 365 condoms.
The woman was in bed with her lover and had just told him how stupid her Irish husband was when the door was thrown open and there stood her husband.
He glared at her lover and bellowed, "What are you doing?"
"There," said the wife, "didn’t I tell you he was stupid?"
‘During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me.
Just the other night she called me from a hotel.’
Rodney Dangerfield
Hey! I don't have a mom, me and my dad share yours.
Having sex is like playing bridge.
If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
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My previous girlfriend had this weird sleeping disorder - in the middle of every night she would wake up and suck my dick.
No wonder her dad did not want her to move out.
Vote:
A newly-wed couple didn’t know the difference between putty and Vaseline.
A week after the marriage all their windows fell out.
Which was the least of their worries.
Hillary Clinton isn't taking the loss very well.
So I said to her, Cheer up!
At least you won't have to work at the same desk that Monica spent so much time under.