Joke #2380

Q: What did the penis say to the condom? A: Cover me im going in!
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has 77.35 % from 717 votes. More jokes about: sex

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My friend over there really wants your number so he knows where to get a hold of me in the morning.
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has 74.15 % from 97 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, friendship, phone, sex
"Hey, I have a magic dildo for sale," he says. "What? There's no such thing," she replied. "No seriously, if you don't believe me try it out in the bathroom. All you have to say is 'magic dildo my pussy.'" A bit skeptical she agrees and takes the dildo to the bathroom. A few minutes later she comes out. "Wow, that was great!" She says. She ends up buying the dildo and leaves the store. On the drive home she starts to feel a little frisky and figures why not try out the magic dildo. Well she's really enjoying herself. The car is swerving and she rolls through a red. She ends up getting pulled over by a cop. After she rolls down her window she tells him the whole story. She explains about the magic dildo and the shop. The cop says, "Magic dildo my ass."
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has 53.60 % from 130 votes. More jokes about: cop, dirty, gay, sex
I tried some of that aphrodisiac rhino horn. Now I’ve got an overwhelming desire to charge at Land Rovers.
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has 34.91 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: sex
Q. What do gay kids get for Christmas? A. Erection Sets.
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has 35.21 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: sex
Why is sex like a game of bridge? You don’t need a partner if you’ve got a good hand.
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has 53.15 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: sex
The wife bought a new see through nighty, wore it without any underclothes and came swinging before the husband. Aroused Husband says, "You look so beautiful and sexy my darling." The wife says, "I know that, I tried it the same way at the store and the salesman was the first one to tell me that."
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has 83.65 % from 1037 votes. More jokes about: husband, marriage, sex, wife
If you're feeling down, I can feel you up.
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has 70.24 % from 137 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, sex
While walking along a beach, a man finds a lamp and rubs it off. A genie appears and offers to grant the man one wish. The man replys, "What about three?" The genie retorts " Look pal, I'm in a hurry, I've been cooped up in that damn lamp for. . ." "OK, alright" the guy responds. "Tell you what, I'm tired of paying for airplane tickets to Hawaii. I'd like you to build a bridge from California to Hawaii." This pisses the genie off. He screams, "Hey, this isn't the movies. Your wish has to be practical." "Do you know the engineering it would take to design that, the materials it would take, you'd have to compensate for plate techtonics, the continental shelf. . ." "Geez" the guy responds, "Well, I'd really like to understand women." The genie responds "Did you want two lanes or four?"
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has 75.62 % from 834 votes. More jokes about: airplane, genie, sex, women
Girl, do you need to get your protein macros up? Because I'd gladly put my meat inside you.
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has 47.97 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: dirty, fitness, flirt, food, sex
Yo mama ass so big your dad's dick gets lost in it.
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has 51.61 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: dirty, fat, sex, Yo mama