Joke #2380

Q: What did the penis say to the condom? A: Cover me im going in!
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has 77.37 % from 713 votes. More jokes about: sex

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Your mama is so stupid, when she lost her dildo she called the cops to look for it.
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has 42.19 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: cop, dirty, sex, stupid, Yo mama
There are an older brother and a younger sister. The sister went to the bathroom while the brother was in the bathroom. The sister asks the brother if she could play with his dick and he says yeah. A few weeks later there was a big storm and the sister goes to the brother's room and asked the brother if she could play with Mr.Cuddles he says no. Then the sister said that she would tell on him so a little pissed of he says yes. After a while, the parents hear a scream. They rush to the brother's room and asks the sister what happened she said "Mr.Cuddles spat on me so I bit his head off."
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has 53.03 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: dirty, family, sex, time
Apparently, he’s trying to become a father again, even though he’s now 87. And you have to admit that is an exceptionally low sperm count.
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has 34.29 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: sex
You work at a corner store and a hot girl walks in. You ask for her number and she gives you a piece of paper with her phone number and address. She tells you to take her out today. She leaves and you tell your boss that you're going to f*uck the sh*t out of her and how you're going to rock her world. You go to her house and your boss is in the kitchen and the girl tells him, big daddy. You run out as fast as you can. You go to work the next day and the girl is there waiting for you and tells you that it's over between you two. Your boss asks you why didn't you go through with it. You tell him you thought you would be mad and fire me if you knew I was talking about your daughter. Your boss says I'm not her father in her Plummer. You ask him why she called him daddy. He says because that's my first name.
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has 17.36 % from 107 votes. More jokes about: dad, dirty, flirt, sex, work
You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex? Because he never fucks up.
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has 70.59 % from 240 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, sex
I’m a very giving lover – I give Green Shield Stamps.
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has 24.40 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: sex
Let's not mess with nature. We are here to make babies. So, let's get to it.
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has 43.52 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: baby, dirty, flirt, sex
A man and woman were celebrating their 50 year anniversary. That night, the woman comes out of the bathroom completely naked and looks at her husband who is already in bed. She says, "Honey, 50 years ago tonight, when I came out of the bathroom with no clothes on, what were you thinking?" He said, "I was thinking that I wanted to suck your titties dry and fuck you until you couldn’t think straight." She smiled at him and said, "So what are you thinking now?" He said, "I think I did a pretty good job!"
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has 64.28 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: anniversary, husband, marriage, sex, time
Yo' Mama is so skanky, when yo' daddy suggested doggie style, she laid down and licked her balls.
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has 43.73 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: dad, insulting, sex, Yo mama
A little boy wakes up in the middle of the night and walks into his parents room and sees them having sex. The little boy, traumatized, runs out of the room crying. "You should go check on him, thats really going to be something you need to explain," said the mother. The father laughed it off with a traditional "he will get over it," and continued to chuckle about the whole situation. After some additional prodding from the mother the father agrees to go talk to the little boy. As he is walking down the hallway to his sons room he hears an empty thumping sound coming from his sons room. Thump - Thump - squish - Thump- Thump. The father, very confused, slams the door open and sees his son balls deep, pounding the shit out of his grandmothers asshole. Just really going to town on it. The father screams "What the hell are you doing?" The boy replies, "It's not so funny when its your mom, is it?"
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has 75.69 % from 377 votes. More jokes about: dad, family, sex