‘Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats, then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.’
Fred Allen
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
Q: How can you tell if your girlfriend really likes you?
A: If you stick your hand in her pants and it feels like you're feeding a horse.
Vote:
How do you make a woman scream twice in the bedroom?
Fuck her in the ass then wipe your dick on the curtains.
Vote:
A priest passed near a young boys gang that were hanging out next to the church.
He went close to them and asked them: "What are you boys doing there?"
"Not much, Father. We are playing a game in which however says the biggest lie about his sexual life, wins!"
"Oh, boys!" surprised said the priest. "When I was your age I wasn’t even thinking about sex!"
And the boys unanimously: "You won, Father!"
A police officer pulls over an elderly female for speeding while driving her husband to a doctors appointment.
The officer approaches the vehicle and attempts to explain that he stopped her for speeding.
She looks at her husband and asks, "What did he say?"
The husband replies, "He said he stopped you for speeding."
The officer asked the elderly female for her driver's license and she turned and asked her husband, "What did he say?
The husband replies, "he wants to see your driver's license."
The women hands the officer her license and he sees that she is from his old home town.
The officer tells the couple that he remembered the town because he had the worst sexual experience of his life there.
The women looks at her husband and asked, "What did he say?"
The husband replies, "He says he knows you."
There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women.
Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.
Steve Martin
Vote:
Randy Rachel has got a speech impediment – she can’t say no.
If you're under the age of 25 and you think your life sucks then you better brace yourself....
Life has only given you the TIP of its Dildo.
I’m a very giving lover – I give Green Shield Stamps.
Q: What does it mean if you were born in September?
A: That your parents started the new year with a bang!