Joke #4082

‘Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats, then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.’ Fred Allen

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a taxi cab? A: You have to pay to ride in a taxi cab.

The results of in-depth studies have determined that the most often used sexual position for marriedcouples is the "doggie position". The husband sits up and begs and the wife rolls over and plays dead.

My nephew told me when he grows up, he wants to be a pizza delivery guy, or a pool skimmer. I need to tell my bro to do a better job at hiding his porn.

Q. What's the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac, and a blonde? A. The prostitute says, "Aren't you done yet?" The nympho says, "Are you done already?" The blonde says, "Beige...I think I'll paint the ceiling beige."

Let me insert my plug into your socket and we can generate some electricity.

Rudolph the well hung reindeer, Had a great enormous cock, All he could ever do with it, was beat it off inside a sock, All of the female reindeer, Had pussies that were just too small, Poor old well hung Rudolph, Could not get any sex at all, Then one horny Christmas eve, Santa came to say, "Rudolph with your cock so strong... Fuck my arsehole all night long!" Then all the reindeer loved him, A few of them were heard to say, "Rudolph the well hung reindeer... You're so lucky Santa's gay"

Little Johnny, "Why are you so fat?" Little Billy, "Cause Every time I fuck ur mom she gives me a doughnut."

Mary, a horny and sexy 23 year old and a handsome, single, sexy doctor Matt have an appointment together. Doctor: Well what's your problem madam? Mary: Well, there's something wrong with my tongue. Doctor: What's wrong with it? Mary: Examine it and you'll see. Doctor: Why don't you just- Mary: EXAMINE IT! Doctor: Fine. (Starts examining tongue, confused as there is nothing wrong with it.) Mary: (Suddenly pushes tongue into Matt's mouth) Doctor: (Pulls out tongue, furiously) Oh, so that's what's wrong with your tongue, eh? It's wanting sex. I see. I can fix that. (Goes to lock door, and rips off all of his clothes) Now your turn. Mary: Wow. I should have just asked. Doctor: (Starts to plunge in and out his dick from Mary's pussy.) Do you wanna make it more enjoyable? Mary: (Moaning and groaning sexually) Ooooooh yes.... Baby..... Yes.... Doctor: Ooooooh it feels SOOO good. (Starts to moan and groan sexually, he suddenly cums) Mary: Aaaaah a baby, fuck me more! Doctor: (Goes on top of Mary) I'm fucking you as hard as I can! When the session is finished, Mary wants to tell Matt something. Mary: That was great. But do you know why you got so aroused before? Doctors: Yes. It was very strange, I was not horny before. Mary: My tongue had viagra powder on it. That's why I put my tongue in your mouth.

What does a Blonde say after multiple orgasms? Way to go team!

"Is it rape if it's your wife?" "I don't think so." "What a relief! I thought you'd be mad as hell!"