Joke #4082

‘Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats, then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.’ Fred Allen

Q: Why do accountants make good lovers? A: They're great with figures.

If we were both squirrels, would you let me bust a nut in your hole?

Two old ladies are discussing their dead husbands. ‘Tell me,’ says one. ‘Did you have mutual orgasms?’ ‘No,’ says the other. ‘I think we were with the Prudential.’

Q: What is the first symptom of AIDS? A: A sharp pain in the ass.

Why doesn't Osama bin Laden have sex with his five wives? Because every time he spreads their legs he sees Bush.

Worst way to ask for anal: "Aww come on...I bet my dick is tiny compared to some of the shits you've taken!"

Q: How do you make four old ladies say "FUCK!"? A: Get a fifth one to yell "BINGO!"

I went into the bar the other day & the bartender said: "What'ya have?" I said: "Suprise me." He did, He showed me a naked picture of my wife. I said: "Hey, who said you could mess around with my wife?" "Everyone did" he replied..."

Q. Difference between a man buying a lottery ticket and a man fighting with his wife... A. A man has a chance at winning at the lottery.

Roses are red violets are blue, I have never tried So can I stick it up you?